Someone please help - Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

mertz · 10-01-2001, 12:48 PM

Hi!
I'm a 41 year old part-time secretary and I recently discovered that I have a very serious eating disorder. I'm a binge eater and I've been out of control for about 12 years now. During this time I've gained about 60 lbs., which would be much more if it wasn't for the periods of dieting that I've gone through.

In July I started seeing a therapist after struggling with depression, anxiety and insomnia. He wrote a letter to my doctor who in turn, referred me to a psychiatrist, who saw me on Sept. 17th. I was diagnosed with mild bipolar disorder and put on a mood stabilizer and something to help me sleep. I also take Prozac.

Since this appointment I am feeling much better and sleeping much better. However, I continue to struggle terribly with my eating disorder. I know that strict dieting does not work for me and I have written my own program which is very unresticted and flexible. Two weeks ago I started following this program and also began doing short periods on my treadmill. I'm doing very well on the walking, but I'm sliding right back into the binge eating.

I just don't know what to do next. I'm still seeing a therapist, but he doesn't deal with eating disorders and my insurance company is giving me a little trouble about switching therapists since they've already given me the aughorization for 2. I just ordered a book that I think will help me and I'm going to start writing in a journal. But I feel like I need support from others who have eating disorders.

I found this message board and thought I'd try it to see if I can find some support here. Anyone, please respond to my message!!

Thanks
Cindy

rad916 · 10-01-2001, 12:56 PM

I'm happy to help and give support if you need it! Listen, the most important thing is that you go to a therapist who can help!! If your therapist is not helping then don't go to him, get someone else. Find some way to do it without your insurance giving you a problem. There ae clinics all over that will help you on a sliding scale. If you want me to help you find one, I'd be happy to. I also suffer from depression along with my ED. it sucks, as I know you know. But talking to somone helps me so much. It can help you to. Ask your therapist if he can help you find someone too. Good luck! And Im' always here if you want to talk.

Summer_Dawn · 10-01-2001, 06:06 PM

We are all here to listen and if you need anything, we're here.

Pheonix1 · 10-01-2001, 09:17 PM

I also binge. I do it fewer and further between then I used to. Some of the things that help me is I keep a food journal. I write down everything I put in my mouth. I also write down what happened when I binge. Like why I think I binged, and how I felt etc. After doing this for a while I started to see a trend, and started better preparing myself for the situations that seemed to trigger my binging. I also do a low carb diet so I don't ever have to be hungry. Oh, and I write down on paper positive messages for myself and put them up around the house. I write things like 'Are you really hungry? Do you really want to eat right now? Think about what you are doing?'. It doesn't work every time, but it has helped a lot. And I agree with the others, you need to find someone that specializes in eating dissorders to see.

mertz · 10-02-2001, 01:22 PM

Hi Rad916, Pheonix1 and Summer_Dawn,
Thank you all for your replies. I'm just starting in my recovery and as I'm sure you all know, I need lots of support and encouragement.

A couple of you said I need to go to a therapist that deals with eating disorders. I've been wanting to, but then I think of the hastle with the insurance company and settle for the counselor I have now (whom I'm not real comfortable with - I'm struggling with perfectionism and he laughs and makes jokes about how organized I am). The ins. co. said I have to have my psychiatrist call them and tell them I need to see someone who deals in eating disorders. Since your advice, I think I'll go ahead with the next step and ask him to do that for me. Thanks for the advice.

Since I get overwhelmed real easy right now, I'm going about my recovery one step at a time. Guess what I learned today gals? I visited a fitness center not too far from my work and got "the scoop" on their programs and prices. And I was real surprised to find that it really wouldn't be that expensive to join, at least to try it out for a month. It's $54 for a month and I can get a coupon at a local grocery store that allows me to sign up a friend for free. So we could split the cost. And you're free to use anything in the building you want, including a jacuzi. So I'm going to see if I can get hubby to join with me.

Well, I'm rambeling on, so I'd better sign off. I've read some of your past posts to learn a little about each of you. I need to make some new friends that understand what it's like to struggle with an ED. I wish you all the best in your own personal struggles.

((HUGS))
Cindy