CloudyDaze

Please don't give in yet. What ED do you have? There is good about hitting rock bottom and that is that you can't go any lower. What do have to lose by trying to overhall your life?

First, give up your ED. What do you have to lose by eating more? If you get fat and miserable you can always kill yourself later. Be honest with people, you'd be surprised how much people you don't think would understand at all would value and affirm your feelings.

Seek God. He really can help you when all the world seems like a cold miserable black fog. There are many Bible verses to cling to in such times of need. Some of my favorites are: Hebrews 13:5, Matthew 14:27-32, Proverbs 3:5&6, and the best of all:

'"For I know the plans that I have for you," declares the Lord,"Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" -Jeremiah 29:11

Please ask for help. There is absolutely no shame in it. I used to think that I shouldn't ask for help, just wait for my parents or someone else to notice that I needed help and give it to me. I'm not completely sure that I know why. I guess that I figured that if I asked for help that I was being selfish and it was embarassing, but I showed that I was miserable and let them decide that I needed help, well then it was their responsiblity to get me help. This is not true. Sit down and honestly talk to your parents, what do you have to lose? They will definately not think any less of you if you ask for help than if you commit suicide. It shows very strong character to be willing to ask for help when we need it.

Things only go slowly uphill from where you are. People say that the teen years are the best years of your life, that's the biggest bs out there. Maybe it's true for 5% of people, but for the vast majority the clouds clear a little more each year that you get older. There is so much in your future for you to enjoy. You will get married, have kids, bake Christmas cookies with them, go on romantic weekend trips with your husband, have grandkids, sit on a porch in your old age and watch the sun set. You will think back to this time in your life and be so glad that you just made it through so that you could enjoy all the things that you have waiting for you in your future.

Depression is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Ask for help. Do it in a letter to you mom or dad if you have to. Depression in many cases is a lot like diabetes. Would you expect someone with diabetes to be able to get better and control their disease by simply trying as hard as they could? Would you think less of them because they asked for help and said that they needed some medication? Of course not! The same is true about biological depression. There is chemical that for some reason, perhaps puberty, your brain isn't producing and it's a disease. You need medication to fix the disease. It's as as simple as that.

If you get medication and couseling you will see such a turn around. It is literally like you are asleep and then you wake up. Like being a toddler who's interested and curious in the whole world again.
After all, you're at the point where you have nothing to lose by trying something, right?