sorry to be annoying - Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

rad916 · 10-18-2001, 07:52 PM

As I write this right now tears stream down my face. I don't know what's wrong with me. Everything's been prety decent, school's pretty good, I'm involved in 3 different choirs which I LOVE to do more than anything, and yet I have never felt so sad in my entire life. I'm sorry for posting again, especially about nothing, but I feel so confused! I don't know why I should be so unhappy but i can't stop crying and thinking bad things. I've been home for 2 days not feeling well and I've not answered a phone call cuz for some reason I have no interest in talking to any of my friends, not even my boyfriend, all I want to do is be alone or talk to you guys. I'm so miserable. I'm even seeing a therpist but when I went to her today for some reason I didn't tell her. And I'm taking my medicine, but now I feel so sick with sadness. Anyway, I'm sorry I rambled about nothing, I just don't know where else to turn. Thanks for all you who listened.
Rachel

fiona · 10-18-2001, 08:27 PM

Don't apologize for posting!!! that's what this place is here for, isn't it? Anyway, big hugs <HUGS> to you, plus some good vibes ~~~~~~~~~~~~!!! I understand how you're feeling (I think most of us here do), so know that you are not alone in this. Isolating yourself isn't going to help, even though that's what you feel like doing. Reach out to people, let them in. This board is a good place to start, but you really need to talk to the people who are in you daily life, too. It'll feel so good to have a good cry on someone's shoulder, to just say "I feel bad" and then talk it out. Everyone has a vault inside them, and sometimes it just gets too packed and you can feel it, you know? That tightness in your chest, that overwhelming feeling, the one that brings tears so easily for "no reason" . . . I hope that made sense! I hope you feel better soon, and keep posting to let us know how you're doing, okay?

Fiona

Ashlee · 10-19-2001, 04:36 AM

Hi Rachel.
First of all, you are not annoying, you have given so many people here some really great advice, we are hardly going to get annoyed with you for wanting some too!
I know EXACTLY how you are feeling at the moment. About a year ago, I went to visit my best friend oversees, and when I came back, my life was great! But for some reason, deep down, I didn't feel 'great' and I still don't know why. I used to cry myself to sleep with overwhelming sadness, and during the day, I would excuse myself from the room just so I could go and cry in the bathroom and I didn't understand WHY! Sorry, I don't mean to change this post to be about me, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, that this has happened to me too, a quite possibly, to a lot of other people on this board. For me, the sadness slowely went away over time, but it probably isn't a bad idea to talk to somebody about it. I don't really know because I never have but that's what therapists are for right? I'm sure it would be helpfull to talk to someone in person who you know and trust. Good luck and I hope you're feeling better soon.
-Ashlee

mel333 · 10-19-2001, 05:33 AM

Hi Rachel,

I can relate to your sadness and sometimes being alone helps to get to the core of the problem. Tell your therapist next time. Maybe you can gain some insight yourself through this pain. I know it's hard and I really feel for you cause I often feel the same way. Sometimes I just go with the tears and I prefer this to the frustration and emptiness sometimes when you can't cry or feel anything. Hey so you are human and you are alive at least tears can tell us something. How is your ED going? Take care and go with your feelings I know I always try to anyway.
Mel

rad916 · 10-19-2001, 12:39 PM

thanks for all of your responses, it's great to know that some people care.

Things haven't gotten better but they haven't gotten worse either so I guess that's a good sign. I hope you're all doing great and keep smiles on your faces. Cuz at least some of us have to! Thanks again for your caring.
Lots of luv and luck!
Rachel