CloudyDaze

Caroline, you don't have to ever apologize for posting, no matter how long! You are a worthwhile human being!

You are at a healthy, good looking weight. You say that you arn't anorexic, well, you may not be super skinny, but you definately have many anorexic tendencies and habits.

Don't give up- EVER! This is only a small period in your life. One day you will be looking back at this time and you will think 'wow, I wasn't really that bad. I wish that I had treated myself better and just learned to enjoy life.'

You feel guilty for eating an egg!? Many other people your height and weight have two eggs and toast just for breakfast. They don't gain weight and you wouldn't either.

Hating and distrusting yourself so much makes the world a scary place. After all, if you can't trust and like yourself, than who can you trust and like? Remember that we all get one life only. This is the only physical body that you will EVER get, so love it or hate, it's yours. You can learn to like it, and make life a whole lot better, or keep on hating it and suffer your whole life.

It's scary to trust you body and be willing to try and like yourself at first. I don't know why really, but it is. It's like you're afraid that you'll like yourself so much that other people hate you and then you're all alone. Well, that never happens! Have you ever seen someone with really high self esteem alone, no matter how ugly they are?

You might feel stupid at first, but make yourself do things that make you feel better, like affirmations, touching the parts of you that you don't like or think are fat and saying something good about them at the same time, etc. I always felt so stupid to dance to the radio because I can't dance at all, but I made myself do it 10 minutes a day to relieve stress, and now I love it! I don't feel stupid at all (unless someone sees me!).

It takes work to improve self esteem and body image. Very few are born with it. Haven't you noticed how older people seem to accept themselves more? It's because they've learned that they're miserable otherwise and it does no good to base yourself on what you think that other people think about you. Why should we have to wait until we're 40 to like ourselves? We can start right now and get that peace that older people have while we're still young (and prettier!).

I think that low self esteem and being so ashamed or ourselves is one of the main causes of eating disorders. Why should I be forced to be miserable unless I live up to someone else's view of beautiful. I'd tell them to go **** up a tree if someone told me that to be liked and pretty I had to cut off all my toes. Well, our society and the obsession with beauty that us girls have isn't any more foolish. We define who we are, no one else does!