just a sad post-nothing of substance, not necessary to read - Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

rad916 · 10-22-2001, 05:26 PM

hi guys, if you actually read this. I feel like ****. Here's my feeling. I'm Orthodox Jewish and in 12th grade in a private Yeshiva (Jewish school). The thing to do after we graduate high school is go to Israel to study for a year in an Israeli University. It's basically where we find ourselves, figure out who we are, and mature. We also improve our skills in learning hebrew and jewish studies. Well, there is one school in Israel that I REALLY want to go to. And I have decent grades but not A+. More towards the A- category. And there are a ton of people applying from my grade and they obly accept like 15, so I'm nervous since I'm not one of the top I won't get in. The guidence counsler in school told me to pick another school just in case I don't get in to the first school. In other words, she had no faith that I will get accepted. I think she thinks I'm stupid, especially cuz my grades last year sucked cuz my brainn was not getting any food. She always makes me feel so supid and worhless, I cry every day in school because of that. I think it's part of my sadness lately. Also I'm the head of 2 choirs in school and so I have to take charge. I've never been so outspoken and every time I take charge I think ppl think I'm being obnoxious. So right now I think every hates me and thinks I'm stupid. I've been feeling so sucky lately because of that, so I restricted my eating again. I'm so so sad, I feel like the world hates me and no one cares.
well, if you made it this far, thanks for listening. Sorry to be such a complainer.
i hope youre all doing well, better than me!!!
Rachel

hurt2deep · 10-22-2001, 05:55 PM

Hey Rachel

Sorry to hear things are getting to you and sending you loads of hugs

Unfortunately, in life there are a lot of people who look down on others but they are the ones with the problems as they are not happy with themselves and like to knock others. No-one is better than anyone else in this world. You certainly don't sound stupid to me. Look at all the sound advice you've given to everyone here. You can be happy with who you are - don't allow this teacher to intimidate you.

You are a winner - smile at everyone and watch their faces as they will also know you are a winner.

And PLEASE don't starve yourself. Don't beat yourself up - just prove em all wrong and remember you're a winner.

Hope you feel better soon and hope this helps. You really helped me through the last few days. Faaanx soooo much.

Love & hugs,

Hazel

rad916 · 10-22-2001, 06:04 PM

that was really sweet hazel, thanks so much.

and any time you need me, I'm here. ANYTIME!!!
luv and luck,

Rachel

Jersey Girl · 10-23-2001, 06:32 AM

I would give anything to have had an A- average back in high school! You are clearly an intelligent person, don't let anyone else make you feel as if you aren't. If your teacher/guidance counselor does not feel that you are good enough, find someone else that will.

LilBear21 · 10-23-2001, 01:31 PM

Hey, that sounds like a really great opportunity to learn! No matter what school you end up going to, I am sure you'll get a lot out of it!!

As for the particular school you'd like to go to, is it based only on grades? Is there an essay component to the application as well? If so, that is your real opportunity to shine, and to let them know how special you are!

Let me know more, and maybe I can help you out.

-LilBear