GIRLS GIRLS - Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

runher · 10-25-2001, 06:17 PM

Girls...let me tell you about me...I've had bulimia since I was 14...25 now. I throw up at least 2-30 times a day and can hide it so well not even my husband knows. I had no idea the damage I was doing to my body. I lost teeth, hair, and my ability to have babies. I would do anything to be able to go back in time and stop this before it got this bad. Please..everyone, see yourself in the future. I no longer look the way I used to..it's such a shame. It's funny how worried I once was about looks so much. Now I just worry if my teeth are going to break off next purge. It also gets harder to get better. Let me be a lesson.

Love yourselfs..

rad916 · 10-25-2001, 07:03 PM

can you get better? have you spoken to someone? does your husband know about it at all?? You totally lost your ability to have kids? thank you for caring to tell us to save us, but we want you to save yourself too, please qrite back and tell us whats going on.
Rachel

runher · 10-25-2001, 07:29 PM

Yes I've been in and out of therapy for years. Before I got married I was in college and my binging episodes got worse and I couldn't fund them, so I stole money, worked in restraunt..where I could get food, and at the worst...sold my body for sex to get money to buy food!! I was a dean's list student, on a division 2 cross country team(one of the top runners too), but no one seemed to know..so "I didn't know". I have spent at least 15,000 dollars-easy- on food..at least 12,000 on my teeth...more to come...I haven't had a period on my own in 8 yrs. PLEASE stop before it's to late. I never would have thought this would all happen when I first started this in JR. High.
I don't have an answer to fix it(wish I did and could tell you all)...just take one day at a time and respect youself.

lissa81 · 10-25-2001, 08:48 PM

Thanks for the advice. I appreciate it, and I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say that. It helps to hear stories like yours. I think sometimes we feel like we're invincible, that "it won't happen to me"--I know I feel that way sometimes. You help to keep the realistic and logical parts of my brain in control. Thanks.

(I think the clown is my mark. Isn't he cute?)

CloudyDaze · 10-26-2001, 10:24 AM

Wow, you're story really scares me! I'm bulimic, but I always think that this will be the last week ever that I will throw up. It's ironic that we start this to be able to eat all we like and look good, and it ends up making us look like diseased old ladies. I guess I can always lose weight later if I have to, but I can never get hair, teeth, or fertility back once it's gone. Thank you so much for sharing!