While this is not exactly the right board to post this type of message, I realize that it's difficult to find a better one. The truth is that there are always underlying reasons for self abuse. I am a somewhat recovered cutter myself and have learned a great deal about the topic since I've tried to stop. Cutting is a form of self-mutilation in which one cuts their skin as a way to relieve some internal pain. The self-abuse you describe is much the same. People usually hurt themselves in order to distract their mind and body from the hurt they feel inside. It can also be a form of self punishment for the way you are feeling. Self abuse is a serious condition, much like any compulsive disorder, and usually requires some professional attention in order to break the cycle. If you are feeling depressed and self destructive, i STRONGLY urge you seek help in the form of a doctor, counselor, or even an anonymous help hotline. Self abuse is very difficult to break by yourself and requires specific attention. Please talk to someone with professional experience! Trust me, I have found that life is much better without the abuse!
Please take care,
Beth
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