feelin fat!!!! - Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

CHICKLET · 08-01-2002, 09:41 AM

Hi first of I would just like to say a big hello to all of you, I am sooo glad that I know you lot are here to help out with my probs.

Here goes, well from when I was about 15 (17 now) I have always felt sooo fat, I hate myself, i hate the way i look, i hate looking into a mirror every morning seeing that same fat figure.

Of course everyone says I am so skinney and lucky that i can eat whatever I want and not put any weight on, but that is not what i see and feel, I feel fat and a mess.

This has led to me skipping breakfast and dinner, noone knows this, my mum makes me dinner and breakfast but I just bin it and go without even if i am hungry I still dont give into the huger pains.

My mum makes me eat tea she hates me missing meals, so she wud go mad if she knew.
so i have to eat tea but i take apple cider vinegar pills, i dont know if they work or not but it is like i am addicted to them now i cant stop, cause I just wouldnt be able to eat tea if i didnt have those. (my mum wud kill me if she knew that i took them to)

when i eat my tea i feel guilty and bad, sometimes i purge it back up but i have stopped that cause my mum and dad always ask what i do upstaires and i just have to say oh i am washing my face or whatever.
stupid thing is i weight 116 pounds (yes i know a lot) i am 17 and i am 5 feet 5.

anyone else feel the same way as i do

itty33 · 08-01-2002, 09:04 PM

WELCOME TO THE BOARDS. IM NEW TOO AND JUST SIGNED UP THE OTHER DAY. CAN UNDERSTAND HOW U R FEELING. IS THERE SOMEONE CLOSE YOU U CAN TALK TOO ABOUT THIS. BEST FRIEND OR SOMEONE U TRUST. WE ARE ALL HERE FOR U AND UNDERSTAND YOUR CONCERNS. I WANT TO HELP YOU BUT IM AM STRUGGLING ALOT LATELY TOO. REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT ALONE SWEETIE.

youneeak · 08-02-2002, 07:00 PM

WELCOME CHICKLET!!

I'm so glad that you found the courage and energy to post your concerns!! That really is a big first step! Admidtting to yourself that you may or do have a problem is HUGE, and you've done that! go you!!

Second of all, although this will not help, you are not overweight, in fact (I'm sure if I'm wrong someone will correct me...) you are technically underweight. I'm 5'2" and weigh about that, and I'm of "normal" weight...

Skipping meals, pretending to eat, wanting to (or actually) purging...these are all dangerous behaviors with dangerous consequences. I know you know all that. Is there anybody you can talk to aobut this, if not this board is a great place for support until you feel ready to tell someone else. (I have actually only told 3 people...I haven't told my family or any other friends yet...but I have found that the friends that know help me out TREMENDOUSLY, and it is a great comfort to know they are there for me...)

I hope you keep posting and let us know how you're doing!!! I'll be thinking about you and sending happy thoughts your way!!

NEVER GIVE UP

~sarah~