Aw that doesn't sound very good. I've never tried laxs, so I don't have any personal experiences with what comes from them, but try to lay off of them...I'm no doctor, but, I know that they aren't good. And it sounds like your body is suffering because of something...
But, I know how you feel, today I feel like I hit rock bottom. My best friend [who's been gone for a week and a half] came over and we played on the computer...She made me feel so happy, for awhile, and the she left. She hadn't read her email from while she was gone, which was when everything fell together and got worse...but during that time she was with me, even though she had no idea what was going through my mind, I had a sense of comfort. But at dinner, my parents didn't think I ate enough, my mom brought up her "are you on a diet?" question again, and of course i denied anything...but, her question is driving me nuts. But, of the people that know about my ED, I get more love than I could from my parents in a lifetime! My friend also told me about something she learned while on her Mission Trip; 'As long as even the slightest bit of your heart has God inside, He'll never let you go TOO far off of His path' and I'm going to use her words, and hope for the best!
So, just know, that even when you are having a day that you don't think could EVER get any worse or that there isn't anyone who cares, know that God is watching over you and so is everyone here, at the board! I hope things get better for you!
--katie
feel like ****! 
My friend was driving me nuts when we were at the mall, actually, she was driving most [if not all] us nuts! She was telling me the fat, sugar, calories, of everything! She was like "never eat this pizza because it's pure fat" blah. blah, and i was like "shut up! I had to eat that pizza on my vacation, so now I have all that pure fat in my body, i do NOT want to hear that" and I walked away! None of the people I was with tonight know about my ED, so it was very hard, b/c I wasn't hungry but I knew I had to eat something, so I could tell my mom "I had dinner at...blah", so my friend and I split some french fries. SO, now I feel like a fat blimp! 
Linear Mode
