HELP ME - Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

caligurl0804 · 07-30-2002, 01:15 PM

Hello

can someone please help me one of my friends thinks she might have an eatting disorder and i dont know what to do! My friend said its her family's fault and her family does not know nad i cant tell them because she dont live in my town

any ideas what i could do or say beside pray

thanks,
Stacey

melody · 07-30-2002, 09:19 PM

Stacy, I would encourage you to learn all you can about eating disorders - and take special note of things that they tell friends or family about how to be supportive. Maybe you could tell her about this board and encourage her to come and post. I have a good friend who is anorexic and bulimic and it is really hard to know how to help. I don't live near her; we are basically internet family. I got her to come here. She really needs counseling but she hasn't quite agreed to that yet. She hasn't told her family either (she's 18). Hope this helps a little. I think learning about it will help you. Mel

Ashlee · 07-31-2002, 04:34 AM

Hi, Stacey.

The good news is that your friend sounds ready to admit that she may have an eating disorder. Hopefully, she has caught this herself in the early stages. That’s great.

Deffinately at least suggest this board to her. The problem is, there isn’t much more you can do for her other than just be there for her when she needs to talk. Knowing some about eating disorders like Mel said is also a good idea, just to be sure that you don’t unintentionally say something to her that may backfire...

Try to encourage her to seek counselling. If she doesn’t want her family to know, tell her to go to a school counsellor. Offer to go with her for morel support but whatever you do, DON’T go and talk to her family about it behind her back. Only if she was in an incredibly serious state – i.e. EXTREMELY underweight (meaning, dangerously), or suicidal should you do this so that appropriate action can be taken.

Also, remember... in the end her recovery is all up to her. She has to make to decisions about what she’s going to do and you should NEVER blame yourself or take on too much of the responsibility. Please remember that.

Good luck!
Ashlee

youneeak · 08-02-2002, 06:45 PM

Hi stacey!!

You are incredibly wonderful to come in search of advice for how to help a friend with an ED. Being someone who suffers from an ED, I know how difficult it is sometimes to keep friends.

Although telling her parents may seem like a good thing, and others on this board may disagree, I don't think it's what's best. Your friend needs to admidt this to herself and then her family on her own time. If she knows you may tell her parents she may be less likely to confide in you or anyone else. I know this is not something you are qualified to handle, so maybe you could encourage her to seek help, or to tell a parent or a loved one, a school advisor or a counselor. But she needs to do her recovery for herself, otherwise it's not going to work (I'm speaking from experience...)

I want to applaud you for wanting to help her! Go you! That is an amazing thing and shows a great amount of strength and love! It's not easy watching a friend you love hurt themselves, and even if she may not express it to you, she's thankful to have you around.

The only advice I can give you, besides encouraging her to tell someone, or seek help (or come to this board, it's a wonderful place for love and support...) is this...if at all possible, DON'T LEAVE HER. This will not help her. Her ED is not about her family or her friends or anything else...it's about her, and the issues she has going on inside of her.

Ok...now that I've rambled for hours...

NEVER GIVE UP
~sarah~

caligurl0804 · 08-02-2002, 11:15 PM

My friend told her parents and they were laughing thinking it was some joke and my friend was crying when she told them this but she has been feeling better lately i just hope and pray she dont have a eatting disorder

Stacey