CHICKLET

Last night went well with the chicken dinner if any of you know about it from reading my post yesterday. I ate it all, felt guilty but kept it down.
The funny pains i had yesterday are not here today which is a good thing, that was very worrying, last night i washed my hair and i must say a very large amount of hair came out, but a fair amount comes out each time i wash it anyway i think it is because i bleach my hair, maybe i am just paranoid.

So apart from all that except the hair part everything was goin fine, i was quite happy today cause i am goin on holiday in 6 days so that is something to look forward to, except that i will be with my mum n dad and i will have to eat every single meal for two weeks none stop.

so anyway everything was fine till this morning, now that has been all turned upside down, I feel hurt and angre i am so upset,
I regularly go to see some horses at the back of my college where i work, i take them apples and food because there owner is a complete *******, he is mean to them, he doesnt feed them, he hits them, he leaves there hoves rotting, plus he only buys horses to put in his rundown f-----g riding school or he buys them to sell on to slaughter houses. I have called the RSPCA a number of times to report this cruelty but nothing gets done because so many people report this aswell as me.

so today i go to the field, usually the three horses are standing near the fence wating for me, today there was only one, i seen the other two lying down, one with his head up looking at me, the other one flat out of the floor nearlly hiden in the grass, i thought thats odd, i called them to come over but the one with his head up wouldnt come in the end he did but was reluctant to leave the other horses side.

I thought **** what is something has happened, i was so worried, i was crying walking over and i didnt even know what had happned yet, i get up to the little shetland pony and find he isnt breathing, so then i am sat with a dead pony in a field crying my heart out and feeling more depressed than ever, and that happened all this morning, i feel like killing myself at this moment i really do, i am trying to hold back the tears as i am writing this, as i am in work. i dont know where to turn everything is goin so wrong in my life and there is no point carrying on at all i feel like s--t.
what have i ever done to deserve this, at the minute i feel like killing the f-----g owner over and over again, he wont be able to hurt anymore horses then would he.

sorry to go on but this has really hit me really hard, i mean i visit those horses everyday and just because of the owners neglect this has to happen this just isnt right, life isnt fair at all.