help whats worng with me - Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

dancehallqueen22 · 11-27-2002, 05:01 PM

hi everyone i'm new here....i also have had "issues" with food and excercise and finding that balance that is so important, but lately i have been throwing up and now i can't seem to stop. it was almost like once i discovered that i had that power and how easy it was i just cant turn it down whenever i over eat...which is A LOT! sometimes i might do it 3 times a day then i might go a couple days without doing it but for the past 2 months i can't seem to stop i guess i should get help but i dont even have the energy to do that right now.....i just want to eat normal and excercise normal and be happy with who i am i feel like i'm wasting my life.... :-(
any suggestions would help Thanx!
lisa

singingsmiles · 11-27-2002, 09:35 PM

Hey Dancehallqueen!

It's nice to see another new face around here!

I'm very glad that you were able to get the courage to come here! As we have told others, it shows that you realize something is wrong and maybe have a little desire to seek help and recovery.

I'm sorry to tell you that I don't know any suggestions that might make this rough time a bit easier. All I can say is that I relate to what you are going through very well. I too, have "issues" with food! I was anorexic ever since the end of last school year, and then when this school year started, i found it very hard to "get away" with not eating, so I learned that I could purge my food for all the meals that i HAD to eat for. And, ever since then, it's been one of the hardest things that I have ever had to break away from! And, i still, have NOT succeeded at doing so.

But, I hope that you find the courage and strength to get over this! Don't let it control your life! You deserve so much better! Keep us informed on how you're doing!

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--katie--

dancehallqueen22 · 11-28-2002, 09:16 AM

thanx katie it does help to see that others have gone through this....being that i cant talk to any of my friends about it they just dont relate....well happy thanksgiving to everyone this is a BIG day for us all to get through i'm sure....at least it will be for me cuz my grandma's cooking is the BEST i cant seem to control myself but i will try to at least eat normal and keep it down :-)

[This message has been edited by dancehallqueen22 (edited 11-28-2002).]

Faith80 · 11-29-2002, 06:29 PM

I know that getting help is really scarey and I bet each time you even think about it you literally get tired. Yet, are you ready to be 6 feet under for that is what an eating disorder will do to you. It can kill you at any weight and at any time. Many things can go wrong no matter how long you have been doing the behaviors. Purging even once in dangerous and purging as much as you are is defintaly dangerous. I used to purge to the point that I couldn't keep food down even if I wanted to. I know this is some bulimics dream, but it wasn't so great when I was at work waiting on customers after my lunch break and vomit would fill my mouth and I had to swallow back. It wasn't nice when I started purging up blood. It wasn't even close to being nice when I couldn't even keep water down. I'm telling you all of this to hopefully make you both see and whoever else reads this, how important getting help NOW really is. It's not easy and you are likely to have times you slid back, but it's well worth it. It's worth living a life w/o wondering were you are going to eat and purge next. Wondering what excuse to make to your friends about why they can't go to the restroom with you after a meal. Being able to eat and be okay with it. To work through your issues and be able to focus on your future.
Take Care.

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As long as there is life, there is hope

Ashlee · 11-29-2002, 08:04 PM

Well said, Faith