how can I help my friend? - Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

Jillyan2002 · 12-09-2002, 07:34 PM

I recently learned that a very close friend of mine is suffering from Bulimia. I have never known anybody who has been through this before, and I have no idea what I can do to help her. She is currently seeing a therapist but that doesn't seem to be working. Is there anything I can do or say to help her? I am becoming desperate because she seems to keep getting worse. Please help!

lilrayofhope · 12-10-2002, 08:22 AM

Welcome, Jillyan2002!

I think what you're doing is wonderful! You're friend is extremely lucky to have you in her life. Bulimia (like other EDs) is a very lonely and destructive path. Your friend does need help, however she has to WANT it otherwise...it won't work. You might want to try to just talk with her. Express your concerns and how you want to help her but you don't know how. Let her know how much she means to you. And remember...be patient. The first steps are always the toughest if you have an ED, but they're the time where you need someone by your side. It sounds like you're willing to be that person for her. I must say...that is WONDERFUL. You said she's currently seeing a therapist, if its not working, she might want to try switching therapists. Sometimes its just a matter of finding the right one and going to them at appropriate times. (Once a week is usually what's needed) Is she on any medicines? Anti-depressants? Maybe that could be an option. I'm not real sure. All I know is that you being there for her (which it sounds like you are) is the biggest medicine she could ask for in her recovery/seeking help. Just remember...she has to WANT help because she is the one with the problem.

-Carlie

youneeak · 12-10-2002, 11:58 AM

Go you for helping your friend and caring so much about her. Carlie's right, your friend has to want help (and this may be a long path...) Try to remember that your friend has so many internal conflicts right now...and if it doesn't seem like she's doing VERY VERY much better, tha'ts ok. It's a long road...good luck to you and your friend.

NEVER GIVE UP
~sarah~

Faith80 · 12-12-2002, 05:28 PM

Yes, as the others have said, it's very sweet of you to want to help your friend. Is therapy not working for her, or is it scaring her and making her see things she doesn't want to see? There is a big difference, but it's not always easy for the person who is being confronted to see.
I guess all you can do is be there for her, but dont' hound her all the time about food and asking her weather she binged or purged. Let her come to you and maybe ask her straight out how you can help and be supportive. I say dont' hound her for I don't want her to resent you; as time goes on, and she deals with these issues in therapy and the issues that lead up to the eating disorders, she will be more open to your help...I guess i'm saying to take it slowly.
Take Care.

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As long as there is life, there is hope