Eating Disorder? - Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

Tired74 · 04-30-2003, 01:03 PM

Hello,

Can anyone tell me if I have an eating disorder? One I am constantly thinking about eating and not eating and fight the urges. In 1992 I graduated High School, I was 30 pounds heavier then I am now. I am now in the middle of ideal weight for my height. I am 5'4, 130 (my lowest wwas around 123-125 and would kill to get back to that). I have a big chest and a medium frame so I am proportioned correct, but I am obsessed. To lose weight back then I restricted. I exercised for about two hours, worked two jobs with minimal sleep just so I would not be home eating. I ate one power bar a day and drank a ton of coffee. I then started eating but mostly craved sweets. If I ate too many sweets I felt so guilty, I got depressed and would binge and then not eat anything nutritious for days. But now I eat. I have a healthy appetite. If food is not in front of me I am okay but put a plate in front of me I eat and am never full. If I eat too much I get depressed. I constantly count what I eat. It takes me forevwer to order something when I go out to dinner I hold other people up at the table, I am so scared I will order something to fattening. Please tell me if this is eating disorder.
I never made myself throw up, I would love too, but cannot do it. I don't know if I am anorexic, because I am not so skinny, though I would love to be, but my body build won't allow for it. I am so nervous all the time with a lot of anxiety over food and what I ate or did not eat. I still exercise often. Especially if I feel "fat" I avoid going out to much with friends because I feel fat, and hate the way I look in the tight shirts, and revealing clothes now a days. I am a size 3/4 5/6 and medium or large shirts - (bigger chest) I cannot be happy with this.

Any advice. Any safe supplements? Today all I ate is some sugarless gum, coffee and one slim fast shake. I need to eat better

lilrayofhope · 05-01-2003, 11:14 AM

Welcome to the boards Tired74!

I'm not a doctor so I can't diagnose you with an eating disorder, but I can tell you that your feelings for food and eating habits do not sound healthy. Have you ever considered counselling? Or attending a support group? It's important you take this seriously now, trust me I say it you don't want it to become your life.

Quote:

I don't know if I am anorexic, because I am not so skinny, though I would love to be, but my body build won't allow for it.

Anorexia is not fun. I'm only 15 and I already have osteopenia and the bones of a 60 year old. I may not ever be able to have kids. And my price for thinness has left me with organ damage.

It's important for you to find out as much imformation as possible. [url="http://www.anred.com/toc.html"]http://www.anred.com/toc.html[/url] this is a wonderful site about eating disorders. You might find it helpful.

I hope you can think twice about what you're getting into. Take care. Keep us posted.

-Carlie

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Scales are for fish.

Tired74 · 05-01-2003, 12:13 PM

Thank you, Carlie, for responding to me. I am sorry to hear all damage you have done to your self at such a young age.
I am 28 and so scared of getting heavy with age as the metabolism slows down. I try consciously to eat healthy but go crazy on doing it. My boyfriend is so tired of hearing me complain about my weight or the way I look in clothes. I may be too old to develop an ED, but why does it preoccupy me so much. I worry about it all the time.
There are days I barely eat, other days I am so hungry. I used to be able to fight my hunger pains but now I am losing control. I try not to eat a lot and if I do I be sure to exercise longer than normal.

Good luck to you, and I was afraid no one would respond to me and felt lonely
I like these boards

lilrayofhope · 05-01-2003, 12:40 PM

YOU ARE NOT TOO OLD! Eating disorders effect men and women of ALL ages. I know a lot of people who didn't get their eating disorder until they were in their 40s! Eating disorders happen for so SO many reasons, there is no age limit for them. You really should try to help yourself now while you can. It IS possible to lose weight a healthy and safe way (1-2 pounds a week) as long as you're eating right and exercising moderately. You might want to ask yourself why you're so unhappy with your body. Who are you trying to please? The Body Image Workbook by Thomas F. Cash, Ph.D is a wonderful self-help book to help you explore why looks are so important to your self-esteem. I know first hand how hard it is to admit you have a problem, but you did the first step by posting! GO YOU!!!

Have you ever considered a nutritionist? S/He can tell you a sensable plan to help you. I see one as a means to help me maintain my weight at a healthy range and to also help me with any questions I might have. Nutritionists are wonderful tools. I hope everything works out for you. Good luck.

-Carlie

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Scales are for fish.

youneeak · 05-01-2003, 08:27 PM

Hi Tired!!

Carlie's right (hehe, she's right a lot!!)

You are NOT too old, eating disorders cause TONS AND TONS of damage, and it's never too early (or too late) to seek help! The behaviors you are engaging in are very dangerous and can cause irreversible damage.

Does anybody know about your food issues? A friend, relative? Someone you can turn to in times of dire need and support? Of course the boards are always here, but sometimes it's nice ot have a physical person there to hug you.

And as for askign if you are anorexic, of course only a doctor can diagnose you. But it is important to remember that eating disorders come in all shapes and sizes, and that it is possible for someone to die from eating disorder related causes at any age and at any weight. I, personally, have knocked on deaths door, and I was never "below average" weight. I've been in the "normal" range for a long time...even through the brunt of my eating disorder. It is important to remember that any one, of any age and any weight can struggle with an eating disorder. Please take care of yourself. You deserve better than the food issues that consume your life

((((((((((( HUGS )))))))))))))

NEVER GIVE UP
~sarah~