youneeak

Hi HeatherBee

First of all, congrats on posting. And I must say that what you have said makes total sense. Eating disorders do not go away overnight, but you have to be ready to "fight the good fight" as you so tenderly put it, in order to get better. There has to be a will inside of you that drives you, and keeps picking yourself back up even after you slip and fall.

YOu've had a numerous different types of eating disorders, or rather, your eating disorder has manifested itself in many ways. I'm so sorry to hear that, I know, personally, how very difficult it is.

I think most of us look in the mirror and think "if you lose another 10 pounds you'll be so much better." That's how eating disorders keep working. There's ALWAYS weight to lose. I once told someone that being sick was easier than being in recovery, because when you're sick, you believe that one day it will end. It will end when "i love 3 more pounds" and then when you lose that 3 pounds, it will end when "I lose 5 more pounds" and then when you lose that 5 pounds it will end.....and it goes on and on and on. But then when you're in recovery, you know it may never end, and that's a scary place to be.

Passing on eating habits and attitudes about food to your child(ren) is a very scary thought. Good luck with that.

I can completely relate to your last sentence in yoru post. I have often called my eating disorders, my best friend and my worst enemy. But listen to the worst enemy part. Eating disorders will kill you, and you have a little boy to look after. You have family and friends that love you. You have people in your life that need and want you around. Eating disorders take that away from you and from them.

NEVER GIVE UP
~sarah~