how do i get out - Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

splat · 09-14-2003, 05:23 PM

i have been going between anorexia and pruging for like 9 months or so now and i have wanted out for a long time now but i can't get out. every time that i eat something i gain a massive amount of weight over night so then i have to resort to not eating until i become my old weight again. i want to be able to eat normally again but i don;'t know how to get there.

i have no one to talk to about this because none of my family or friends know what i have been doing, as i have had to resourt to making excuses as to my odd behaviour. it is really embarrassing that i could never tell anyone but i feel so lost that i just cry cause i am so tired of being sick (mentally) all of the time.
you people speak of fighting this for many years, but i want out now. is it really going to take years to become normal or will i ever be able to be 'normal' again, will i have to fight this for the rest of my life.
also i was wondering is there anything that would control the binges. after not eating for a while to get back to my normal weight i go crazy in the kitchen and have been known to consume 4000 calories in one sitting! i can't eat normally anymore it is all no nothing.

mochi · 09-15-2003, 02:07 AM

splat, I have been in a similar situation. You can recover from your disorder, or at least learn how to regulate it. But first YOU HAVE TO TELL SOMEONE. If you arte still financially dependent on your family, then I would tell them first, so that they can help you get a psycologist. It is really scary, but it is the best thing that you can do for yourself. The people who love you, love you unconditionally, and they will offer support to help you through this. You can recover. Good luck!

paperdoll · 09-16-2003, 06:07 PM

hey splat. i know what you mean-i've been stable, no bingeing/purging for about a year now, but i used to be able to put away 1000's of cal's quite rapidly. about the thing with your weight, it seemed to me that while i was bulemic, my body did put on weight much easier, like just one bad day could make my weight shoot up. that's all gone now, though, although my weight did go up for a while when i quit. good luck!