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Old 11-19-2006, 04:57 AM   #1
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 65
muaythaigirl193 HB User
Advice please!!!!

Hi,
Im not sure if i have an eating disorder or notwhich is why i wanted to speak to someone,if i explain my sistuation then you may be able to give me some advice.
I am 26 years old,i have one daughter who is 19months old,un fortuanetly i had a bit of a traumatic time during my pregnancy with her and i also split from my daughters father when i was four months pregant.
I have alsways been a very sporty person and always been obessed with what i eat and how much i exercise,ever since i was a little girl i have starved my self,or over eaten and then exercised like mad to burn it off.
I have been on countless diets,you name it ive done it,slim fast,atkins,weigth watchers,slimming world.
After i had my daughter instaed of concentrating on this beautfiu little bunddle of joy i was worried baout losing the baby weight and used slim fast from the week after she was born untill she was at least nine months old!!! I now of course feel incredibly guilty about this!!
My situation at presnt is,i am now in a wonderful relationship and...well very happy!!! BUT!!! i am in a vicious cycle that i can not break.
I am currently being treated for post natal deprtession and am taking Ciprimil.I have noticed the last month things have got really bad,my daily routine consists of,getting up withthe best of intentions to eat "healthy" today i start the day with a nice bowl of weetabix,then an hour later i raid the cupborads when i m not even hungry!!!! Yesterday i ate a whole packet of chocolate biscuits,crisps,toast,three double twixs,more biscuits,two yougurts and thats just the morning!!! I then am overwhelmed with this incredible guilt once again and feel sick to the pit of my stomach,i then will feel so gulity i will go to the gym for two hours and run until i feel ill!!!! I will then miss lunch and vow "not to eat much tomorrow" However this will not happen.
I am now thinking of embarking on the grapefruit and egg diet to loose weight.
I am not even oiver weight but HATE the way i look,im 5ft 2 and weigh 8st 7lbs but i dont want to weight that i think i will be happier a stone lighter,i look in the mirror and just see blubber!!!! Bulges hangingin over my jeans!! I exe4rcise nearly everyday i do enjoy exercise and as i said have also been active but now im worried im just doing it to "get skinny" and not becasue i enjoy it.I seem to have lost all perspective of food completely,i have binged today and now feel incredibly sick with myself!!! No one else knows of the way i feel and i feel stupid to tell anyone.I havent told the doc this yet,i dont know if im doing this becasue i need to change my med.I have asked for councilling but have to wait six months before i see anyone.
I odnt want to be like this i want to just eat healthy and exercise.I am to gutless to make myself sick but have often thought of doing this but i know deep dowun i can do this.I have used every fat burner you can think of,every diet pill and potion!!! Please could you offer me some help and advice.
I guess it doesnt help that i work ina health and fitness club,but fitness has always been my passion.
I weigh myself everyday with out fail,morning lunch and night and am always taking my bodyfat measurements.I feel constantly sick of my behaviour towards food and odnt want to pass this on to mydaughter.Please could someone give me some advice.

Thankyou

 
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Old 11-19-2006, 09:42 AM   #2
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: US
Posts: 140
k_2005 HB User
Re: Advice please!!!!

Hey there, welcome to healthboards! Sounds to me like you do, indeed, have some issues with food and body image. I would certainly consult a professional and let them know your concerns. Why do you have to wait 6 months to see a counselor? I am concerned that 6 months may be too long for you to wait. I would try to see someone as soon as possible because it sounds like these issues are really interfering with your daily life and hindering your ability to be happy and care for your daughter. Congrats on the new baby, by the way. Anyways, the best advice I can offer you right now is to try to see a professional as soon as possible. If there is anything else we can help you with, feel free to post. Take care and good luck!

 
Old 11-19-2006, 06:06 PM   #3
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 9
QUEEN * DOJ HB User
Re: Advice please!!!!

I totaly get where you are coming from and i would advise you not to do the diet thing you are considering. When i got to the 9th grade i suddenly became very unhappy with my body. It got to the point where i would freak out about having one cookie then i binge eat and just break down in tears. then the next day i would run 5 miles and only eat a boiled egg and 5 crackers. I did this for three years and even when i was at my thinist i still saw myself as a cow. I tried diets but instead of helping me they just furthered my problem. I would get frustrated with them and binge eat or would starve myself by cutting the diet portions down to 1/4. So i took the last year to be ok with my body, i decided not to wiegh myself and just go with the flow of what i wanted to eat. i gained wait but becuase i faced that fear of food and what it would do to me i have been able to get to a good and healthy place. It won't be easy, it never is, but sometimes the only way to get over your fears is to let them happen. This is what worked for me.

Last edited by QUEEN * DOJ; 11-19-2006 at 06:08 PM.

 
Old 11-19-2006, 07:52 PM   #4
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: minnesota
Posts: 261
case1 HB User
Re: Advice please!!!!

it sounds to me like you have an eating disorder too, anytime food and exercise rule your every thought , it becomes an obsession in the worst way. i started my ed behavior after my 1st daughter was born, and 12 years and 2 more daughters later i am way in over my head with this. it has taken away many precious years of having fun with my family because i've been so hung up on my weight. now i'm a prisoner of it and can't break free. please get help as soon as possible so you don't end up like me take care case

 
Old 11-21-2006, 03:50 AM   #5
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 4
Lisastephens HB User
Thumbs up Re: Advice please!!!!

Hi i just wanted u to know that u r not alone first of all.....I binge eat all the time only i don't diet or go to the gym i be sick!!!!!I count caloiries but still fail to stick to any promise that i have made myslef.....I still eat things that i don't wanna eat each day......I am not huge at all but i look in the mirror and see this horrible disgusting person.....Fat even though i only weigh 8st 4pounds and i'm 5ft 5inchs its horrible seeing somthing like this even though people keep saying and reassuring you they see something else.....i have so much to say but don't feel here is the right place if u wanna chat then e.mail me take care

 
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