Irunfar

I guess I have questions that maybe someone can answer. I was raised by an anorexic mother and have focused my life on eating healthy and exercising. I am very muscular, which has always bothered. I think I've always had anorexic tendencies, but over the past two years I have become much more extreme. I don't binge, but when I do eat something I purge. I have begun to take diet pills and have been hospitalized twice in the past year from passing out. I finally tried to tell a doctor about my ED because the fact that I am now vomitting blood and have pretty bad heart palpatations scared me. The doctor said, "Well you are obviously not anorexic because you are a 'normal weight'." My behavior fits that of anorexia, but due to the fact that I am an athlete and quite muscular I'm afraid that I'll be very sick once I do get to the weight I want to be. My husband and friends are concerned, but I don't know how to stop. I make jokes about it with my husband, but he is a medical provider so I think he understands the severety of the problem, which for some reason makes me feel angry at him. To look at me I do not look anorexic or 'skinny'. I feel like if I can just lose more than maybe someone will take me serious when I seek help. I'm a mommy and I don't want my kids to be raised by someone who can't even love herself. What do I do?