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Old 03-14-2007, 07:58 AM   #1
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YellowBikini HB User
Body Image

I experience something very weird almost everyday. Sometimes I look in the mirror and feel DISGUStiNG -- I look obese and bloated, and I don't even want to leave my house, for fear that people will stare at my overweight body and judge me. Then, OFTEN IN THE SAME DAY, I can look in the mirror, and see a very thin person. Very very thin...I'll see my ribs, can feel my collar bone, and feel small when I turn to the side. This isn't affecting my eating really, as I'm still eating when I'm hungry and aiming to erase ED-related thoughts and behaviours from my life. But it affects how I feel about myself on a moment-to-moment basis, and I find the whole thing to be quite odd. I was just wondering if anyone had experienced something similar?

 
Old 03-14-2007, 08:30 AM   #2
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: TX
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livinTX HB User
Re: Body Image

I have been recovered from my ED for years, but I still have body image issues. Looking in the mirror, I often feel displeased with my body image. Then, and like you said, it can happen on the same day, I will be in the locker room at the gym or a public women's bathroom and standing at the sinks next to another woman who is thin or fit and both our images are reflected in the mirror and then I really see my image is about the same as hers in proportion. It is very weird. Also, I can look at pictures of myself and see that I am really very healthy and fit for my size. I'm thin, but not too thin as when the ED was full-blown; really, when I look at pictures of myself taken recently, I look very fit and healthy. It is funny I never see it looking in the mirror, but I've come to accept it will always be this way for me. Even when the ED was at its worst, I always saw a fat image reflected back in the mirror, and back then, I did obsess over the bones, but truly, if you want to get past the ED, you have to stop looking in the mirror so much and stop focusing on being able to feel the bones because those thoughts fuel the ED.

Good luck to you in your recovery!

 
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Old 03-14-2007, 10:26 AM   #3
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MariaBB HB User
Re: Body Image

I'm battling an ED and know exactly what you mean. The other day I felt like a balloon. I asked my husband if I looked "rounder". Later I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror before taking a shower. Yuk! I'm skin and bones. My breasts look disgusting. But the next day I was counting calories again. Grrrr. I recently joined a gym and am hoping that if I exercise everyday I'll feel like its OK to eat a little more. Who knows, maybe I'll even gain some muscle.

Last edited by MariaBB; 03-14-2007 at 10:27 AM.

 
Old 03-14-2007, 05:53 PM   #4
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k_2005 HB User
Re: Body Image

Hello. This body image issue has been a HUGE struggle for me. Sometimes I look in the mirror and see myself as fat, and other times I see myself as sickly-thin. It is like I am never just right.

It helps to look in the mirror and say something positive about myself that has nothing to do with weight or shape. For example, I might tell myself that I have pretty eyes or shiny hair. Try to give yourself positive affirmations that distract from your negative body image and make you think more positively about yourself.

Hope that helps a little. TAKE CARE!!!

 
Old 03-15-2007, 06:59 PM   #5
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pinkygirl HB User
Re: Body Image

not that i have any great suggestions to help this problem, i just wanted to let you know that you are definately not alone - i have exactly the same confusion when i look in the mirror at differnt times and its often in shop window reflections and other places aswell. its horrible and confusing isnt it.

 
Old 03-16-2007, 05:13 PM   #6
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Join Date: Jun 2006
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YellowBikini HB User
Re: Body Image

Thanks everyone for your responses. I wasn't really looking for advice, moreso just to make sure that I wasn't alone. The logical part of me realizes that I don't truly become obese and skinny over and over each day, so I've basically decided to ignore it. Like cln said, I'm trying not to think about it so much when I pass a mirror; when I DO think about it, I just tell myself to get over it and move on.

 
Old 03-16-2007, 07:38 PM   #7
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: New Zealand
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gymaholic HB User
Re: Body Image

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who experiences this. Of course, I never think I look skinny, cause I'm not. But I'll look at myself and think, "I look good/healthy" and maybe a few hours later in the same mirror, I'll be absolutley disgusted with what I see. How bizarre!

 
Old 03-18-2007, 12:43 PM   #8
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Join Date: Mar 2007
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fancy_cat_1 HB User
Re: Body Image

Same here....I am definatly NOT skinny by all means! But, sometimes I think I look great and other times, I look like a cow with stripes made out of strecth marks!
I know people look at me and whisper under their breath...they just don't understand! And, I don't understand how they can eat a whole bag of chips and not gain a pound! It just ain't fair....!

 
Old 03-20-2007, 04:08 PM   #9
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: New York, NY
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WanderingSoul HB User
Re: Body Image

Yes, I have the same thing happen to me too. More often than not, though it's thinking that I look fat. If not fat, at least just not thin enough.

Especially when I look at pictures of myself from high school, when I was in the healthy weight range, I am embarrassed for myself to see how fat I looked (well, in my mind I was fat anyway). I'm 23 now, and pretty much the size I was when I was 13. And still don't feel thin enough.

But yes, there are occasional times when I think, "Yes, I do look thin-- good!" Or someone will comment on it, like last week at the nail salon, one of the women who worked there came over to me and gave me a chocolate biscotti and said, "For you! Eat!" (They've made other comments, like, "You're so thin!" other weeks that I've been there.) And then I feel all self conscious-- like, is it really THAT bad? BTW, I'm not going to that nail salon anymore...

I just don't know who to believe anymore.

 
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