Older Sufferers (Young gals, feel free to join thread)

[MariaBB]

I'm starting this thread because it seems like there are quite a few ED sufferers here who are past their teen years. I'm 37 and I often feel like an odd-ball because a lot of the ED recovery books tend to focus on teen and pre-teen girls.

Just wanted to mention that I attended an ANAD Recovery Night meeting last night. The speaker was a woman who suffered with an ED for a long time. She is currently in her early 40s and in recovery! She first was hospitalized when she was 31. At that time she was married with children and had a good career. Regardless, she became so ill she was near death. Today she is doing well in recovery (yeah!), and her three daughters are healthy.

My point is that although it seems hopeless at times, and I often feel silly for being my age and battling an ED when I feel I am old enough to know better (ha!), there is hope for recovery - no matter what your age is or how long you've been living with your ED.

[neurowreck]

I'm 43, and had restrictions on food placed on me as long as I can remember, but definitely beginning at 3-4; also enemas and adult laxatives that I couldn't hold and was shamed for......it was lifelong. I'm not actively restricting, purging, bingeing, etc, but it's never really gone- it just becomes the parasite it is, and I don't care to live with it.

[case1]

i'm older too, 35, and i didn't develop ed until after my 1st daughter was born. i think more and more older women are getting this awful disease. maria, what is an anad meeting?? maybe i could go, it may offer some encouragement that i so badly need right now case

[neurowreck]

There's a book out about older women with EDs....fairly new, and only available in hardback....don't remember the name.

[seaturtle]

I am 60, and got ill at 14-15. Mine is chronic, and I struggle with it all the time.

I've been through bingeing/purging for many years, beat those. But my eating habits are thoroughly ritualized, and my weight is way low.
I work with a doctor, ED specialist and take meds.

I really feel alone; I am so much older than the other women, even on this thread.

Thanks for the topic. It's hard, not having had treatment and being much, much older than most.

[sumi]

Great thread, I'm 30 and have only had my ED for 11 years. Sometimes I wonder if it ever truly goes away. I listen to woman on TV who say after their 30s they stopped focusing on their weight so much and wonder if its true and when I will feel that way. Right now I am pregnant and doing well but worry about what I will go through after this pregnancy. I wish I never had to worry, I pray I don't pass it on to my 2 year old DD.

[MariaBB]

Originally Posted by case1

What is an anad meeting??

ANAD is a support group with lots of chapters in different areas. It stands for National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders. You can find them online (can't post links here).

I wonder if the increase in EDs in older people is related to stress in our lives. Many women are parenting and working full-time jobs. Some are working on college degrees at the same time, or may be single parents. I have no children, but I am married and work two jobs, one of which requires a long commute. For six years I was doing this and pursuing a college education. Competition is tight at work, it's hard to feel "good enough" or "in control". And it seems like people are always being laid off. This is stressful because I'm responsible for my student loans and a mortgate! With today's economy almost everybody has to work, which leads to more stress.

Do you agree with this, or do you think there are other factors involved? (PS: I've got to find that book about older people with EDs!)

[case1]

maria, there are 2 good books on older people with ed. the one you guys may be thinking of is
'lying in weight", very good, and another one is "Gaining". The thing for me is with these books at the time i read them i think "wow that makes sense, i'm going to do this, this, and this and be just like these people in the book, but then when i close the book and reality sets in i just cant do it. how about you guys? also, i would have to agree that stress does play a huge part with this disease. our society seems to promote a non stop, be better than everybody else, either in looks, your work, parenting etc. years ago i think people just accepted all of this as just that: work, raising kids, aging, and it wasnt competitive, actually people helped each other out more, it was more a team effort. now it is every man for himself, and may the best one win. win what? i'm not sure, maybe a life with ed, how sad!!!

[Cup of coffee]

I'm in my forty's and have struggled with an ED since my early teens. I've had more periods of freedom than sickness in those years, but when things seem to spiral out of control my focus becomes food. I'm having a difficult time right now. My former foster son took me aside the other day and said he was worried about me. I really don't think I'm that thin. Argh!

[Ashlee]

I've actually only recently turned 22 but thought I'd post because I feel similarly about my ED as you all seem to. I became anorexic when I was 14 but I was 16 when it really went out of control. I got a lot better about a year later but now every time things get tough I resort back to it. I have bulimic tendencies too so I often make myself sick if I feel guilty for eating a meal and then for a while I will be okay again, then resort back to it again. I have suffered from major depression for years now and I do wonder if it will ever end.

I think I have accepted now that anorexia will be a part of my life forever, even if I'm not severely anorexic I still resort back to it in times of stress, and I don't really see any other way around it anymore.

[neurowreck]

Recovery is SO worth it. Once your body gets renourished, the obsessive thoughts about weight/numbers sort of automatically get better- the thoughts are a result of the malnutrition- not the other way around. What may start as a diet becomes a biochemical nightmare.

[seaturtle]

Neurowreck,

You are so right. I am trying hard to get the weight on, and having a heck of a time doing it. But I will remember what you said. And that will be an impetus to me to keep on working on it.
Thanks for the insight. I needed a reminder.

[lizzy76]

I'm 31 and have struggled with anorexia since I was 24. I've been to residential treatment 3 times for anorexia and put in the hospital a few times also. It's been hard because most people think of eating disorders as a "teenagers" disease but I did not develop mine until graduate school. While I was in treatment I did have the opportunity to meet women my age and older and that was really nice. I finally felt as though I had people who I could really relate to - with the eating disorder and with the place we were at in life with our careers, family, etc.

Right now I am doing well in recovery. My weight is right in the middle of my weight range and it has been for quite awhile. It's taken me a long, long time to get to the point to where I'm not just maintaining at the very bottom of my range. I have to admit though that the thoughts of wanting to lose weight have not disappeared entirely. They are far less frequent and less intense as they used to be but they are still there. And I also still struggle with body image... I often think that will be a lifelong struggle but the positive side to that is that it does lessen as time goes by. I've actually started giving talks on eating disorders with my old primary care physician who treated me while I was anorexic. It's been great to be able to share my story with others who are struggling with the same thing!

[caza]

hi im 43 and only eat 3 times a week but when i start i cant stop i hate being like this im a size 8 and will not take my coat off in public because i am fat

[always smiling]

Hi, I'm 36. My anorexia just started last year. I thought I was doing better the past few months, but I was put on Prozac for my depression and I lost my appetite. Now I don't eat at all. I weigh less than I did when I was in tenth grade. ( of course, I was just a tad bit chunky then). My husband just told me that I am too thin. I looked in the mirror yesterday before I went to see my therapist and I saw a very skinny person. I had to cahnge my outfit. I wore a long jacket also so my therapist wouldn't notice that I lost more weight. I don't know why I am doing this to myself.
Caza, I hear what you say about not being able to stop eating once you start. I get like that at times.

[Tyluk]

Good thread... I am 43, and have been eating disordered since I was 18. Someone referred to this as a "parasite," and I think that's a pretty good metaphor. It's hard sometimes, being "older" with a younger person's problem (although these days I don't think it is anymore). It kind of becomes a way of life, doesn't it...

[neurowreck]

I struggle with side effects of medication making my appetite disappear, and can't stand the sight, smell, taste, or feel of food in my mouth. It's different than my ED days in many ways, but I still struggle with getting food in. I haven't engaged in any deliberate ED behaviors for 11 years (after 22 years of EDs). Yet in many ways, it's similar, and I'm on guard a lot. I've had to use nose tubes for supplements, and there's no way I would have done that in my ED days, so I know I'm aiming for health (which is ruined), and it's not about the 'numbers'. I feel the ED days are gone (but still something to be aware of, since they are parasites), yet I've damaged my body, needing meds that cause the repulsion of food. It's a pain, and now I"m starting another seizure med that is known to make people forget to eat.....great. I'm having enough trouble as it is- yet I'm grasping for health, not thinness.

[justlilme]

Hi Maria. I'm here sitting alone in my living room feeling so gross about eating dinner tonight and I thought about you and how you once invited me to this board. I've never been diagnosed with an eating disorder (although my therapist casually mentioned how tiny I was), but I do know that I must be anorexic with all my obsessions of weight and food. The funny thing is that I don't want to get help because I don't feel like it's anything serious. Am I in denial? I'm not skinny and I haven't had any of the side effects associated with anorexia, but I worry about my weight and I use food as a source of pleasure (like filling the void when I'm down or anxious).

Anyway, I just thought I'd pop in and post since I'm feeling down right now. Btw, I'm 32 with 2 kids. In addition to the factors you've mentioned, Maria, I also think that society (the media) plays a big role in how much girls/women should weigh. Also, the increasing divorce rate may have something to do with older women wanting to be up-to-par with these younger, thinner, more attractive girls who are the possible competition.

[seaturtle]

Good points about the media and also divorce rate. I think there just a host of influences driving women into self-harm now. This culture is not well.

As far as you being anorexic, diagnosis by the book has certain criteria, one of which is a certain percentage of weight loss.

If you think you might have an eating disorder, you robably do. Are you in treatment? If not, please get there, before it gets worse.

Welcome here.

[lostandfading]

I'm 29 and only developed my ED May '06. I totally agree about the media thing also. Its been annoying me a lot lately. I can't turn on a tv program without their being a story about someone's weight. What gets me the most is how hypocritical all these news stories are. They'll do a story about how some celebrity has gotten frighteningly thin and then follow that by another story criticizing someone from gaining weight. Or the even better the newswoman doing the "dramatic" story about how "concerned" everyone is about the celebrity's frightening weightloss and how hollywood has gone too far yet she herself obviously has some form of ED!

My sister is 12 and I cringe at the magazines she reads and shows/movies she watches because there is so much focus on weight. Plus the stories I hear from her when she gets home from school about how her friends are on "diets" and throw away their lunches, etc. Also some kids seem to think depression and cutting are "cool". What the hell is happening?