coralie_xxx

Before I start I apologise for the wall of text critting you for ten thousand below.

Hello, my name is Coral and Im 22 [removed] I want to tell you my story in hope somebody can help me. When I was a child my parents tried to make me eat but I did not like eating my food because it didn't feel nice in my mouth and/or it tasted disgusting to me. Instead of telling my parents I just hid my food and pretended I had eaten it, I did this from as early as I can remember about age 6. My family never commented on my size or how small I was as I grew up, I almost felt as if I was ignored. At high school I wore baggy clothes and nobody noticed my extreme thiness. I would take to school a packed lunch but I would only eat my chocolate bar and a packet of crisps and throw the rest away because it did not taste nice. Money was always tight at home and when I was 12 years old my parents divorced and my dad moved away never to be seen again. My mum went into deep depression and stopped cooking meals for us so even the meals like chips which I actually liked stopped being put on the table and myself and my two brothers were left to fend for ourselfs. I would eat a plate of chips each day after school (it was all we ever had in the freezer) as well as the chocolate bar and crisps for dinner. Eventually I left school and got a job and I started to experiment and buy new foods from the supermarket myself but I was affraid to put them in my mouth when I cooked them, my mind told me it tasted bad and I should throw it in the bin, I would take 1 bite and agree with my mind that it was disgusting and throw it away (but always in the bin in my room so my mum didn't happen to see it had been thrown away, i don't know why). So I never actually progressed that that stage and a few years on I am sick and tired of my eating habits. All I eat in a day is crisps chocolate and chips. Sometimes I may have cakes or sweets. Sometimes I buy a whole box of buns and eat it all in one go. But nothing else will pass my mouth. I even make my boyfriend brush his teeth if he's just eaten or else I won't want to kiss him. I cannot seem to cook inside our kitchen incase somebody walks in and sees my cooking and I do not understand this at all. It scares me that somebody will criticise my cooking. But if the house is empty Im really excited and will cook adventureous meals like chips with cheese and buttered toast (lol). This is hardly ever though. I hate the way my body looks, there is bones poking out everywhere and I long to be fat and colorful. If people invite me out for dinners I have to make up an excuse because I will look stupid going to a fancy restaurant and ordering chips and a glass of coke. Nobody understands me not even I understand me. I wonder what is wrong with me and why I hid food when I was a child and why my family didn't notice and help me when I was too affraid to ask for help myself. I just hope somebody out there reading this can provide me with even half an answer, I would be truely greatful. Thankyou for listening.