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livinTX · 12-02-2007, 07:12 AM

I thought I'd pop in here quickly and give everyone an update. Hopefully, next time I post here, my baby will be born! I'm now 10 days away from my due date (Dec. 12) though I'm suspecting I may go overdue in the end (many first time moms do).

I had been very scared to deal with pregnancy after an ED, even after being in recovery for so many years, but, honestly, there are worse things in life than being pregnant and gaining weight (for example, living with a full-blown ED was much harder than this). It was difficult in the beginning especially, gaining weight, but not really looking pregnant (I didn't look pregnant to strangers until I was in my 8th month of pregnancy). And while I have gained weight, it's not gone out of control either; I've probably gained the low end of the recommended amount of weight gain for pregnancy and I've been eating about everything in sight! (I worried needlessly about piling on extreme excess weight with pregnancy.) You do lose some control over your body with pregnancy, but it's not like I feel I've become a horrible fat monster either. I am lucky, I guess, in that I am carrying pretty much all of my weight gain in my belly and very little elsewhere. I've had a relatively easy pregnancy with no scares and have been exercising throughout pregnancy (the elliptical trainer/walking & light weight lifting). The weight lifting has been a lifesaver for me. I started it shortly before becoming pregnant (a month or so) and now have better muscle tone than I remember ever having my whole life, which gives me something positive to focus on about my body.

And somehow, I have even managed not to get stretch marks on my belly (hopefully, it stays that way!), which is surprising, since I do have them on my hips from rapid weight loss/gain with the ED and on my breasts as a result of birth control pills inflating my boobs rapidly.

Overall, I have to say, I found coping with a full-blown ED much harder than dealing with pregnancy after an ED. Granted, I did have down days and days where I haven't felt very attractive while pregnant, but I've never had any desire to start acting on ED impulses again.

At this point, though, I am so through with being pregnant, it's not even funny, but this has less to do with appearances and weight (actually, I haven't really gained weight this last month with pregnancy; it's common at the end to not gain much and even lose some) and more to do with general discomforts--back aches, hips ache, I'm nauseous a lot now, I have to wake up every hour to pee, etc. etc.

Anyway, I just thought I'd update everyone and encourage those of you in recovery or once you do recover and want to consider having kids...my experience hasn't been so bad.

ASDGRMama · 12-03-2007, 07:02 AM

Thank you so much for sharing your experience! It's very encouraging to read. I'm so glad you've had this time to grow your baby ED-behavior free! It's the best thing you could have done for you and your little one

.

I've only had one pregnancy so far with ED behaviors; the others I spent ED behavior-free. The fears and ED thoughts were still there but to a lesser degree. I've always enjoyed the reprieve.

For me the post-partum months are a struggle. I'm short (with a short waist) and tend to gain a lot of weight during pg. I don't just get a "cute little belly"...I get a very round body also. My weight gain is a healthful one (I eat very well during my pgs) and I lose it quickly. My ED behavior usually starts after I've lost all of my pg weight. My last two have been the hardest (I'm 7 months post-partum right now).

I've mentioned in a few other posts that I really wish I would have set up a "support system" of some sorts during my pg so that if I did start to struggle the help would be there. I strongly recommend it to anyone who is pg and has had an ED (whether current or in the past)...let your dr know so that someone is available to help "just in case".

I was asked during my discharge at the hospital if I've ever had an ED and I said yes. That's as far as it went (it's part of the routine questionaire). I'm uncertain as to why they ask (is it for statistics, medical records or to determine a woman's potential post-partum needs etc...).

Thinking of you in these last few days of your pg! I know it can get kind of long at the end (I have 6 kids). Praying all will go beautifully for you and your little one.

Love, Kelly

P.S. Does your OB/midwife know that you have/had an ED? I just wanted to ask because I never told my last midwife. I'm wondering if you had any dialogue with your care-provider in regards to ED and if it was positive or negative. Thanks!

livinTX · 12-03-2007, 07:35 AM

I disclosed it to my OB, but we never really discussed it other than my first visit in, which was actually about a year pre-pregnancy, when I started seeing him for routine gynecological appts. I know I filled it out on all the paperwork. Probably I should have made more mention of it after becoming pregnant, but I don't know, it's weird to talk about, especially with my husband there (he's come to almost all my preg. appts.). I think it makes my DH uncomfortable when I talk about it (he didn't meet me until I was well into my recovery).

I'm sorry you had such a difficult time post-partum. I'm a bit worried about how I'll do with that, but hopefully, it won't be too difficult on me. Pre-pregnancy, I actually had a horrible experience with a birth control pill and retaining huge amounts of fluid while on it...my weight ballooned and I had the worst, most painful swelling, even more weight than I've gained with pregnancy and in a short time period (about a month). I'm hopeful the postpartum period can hardly be worse than that, and while that experience depressed me, it did not throw me back into ED behaviors either. But who knows what it will be like with my hormones all wacky? I'm hoping for the best but do plan to contact a therapist if I start having issues again.

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