Sadly, I just wrote out my entire story of my eating disorder, but then my browser crashed.
Someday maybe I'll share again.
So I'll cut to the chase for now. Basically, today was my first visit to the dentist in three and a half years, during which I was repeatedly binging and purging.
I thought if I brushed my teeth after purging, I would avoid tooth decay. I was definitely wrong. From the outside, my mouth looks fine. I frequently used whitening techniques, and I had braces when I was younger, so I have a pretty good smile.
After getting headaches and tooth pain, I decided that it was finally time to brave the dentist today.
I was shocked to learn today that I have ten cavities. One is so deep that it requires a root canal. Three of my wisdom teeth also need to be removed. It's a good thing my parents have dental insurance! This will require over five appointments, many of which will be hours long.
I thought I went through my high school years virtually unscathed from bulimia, suffering only from weakness, dizziness, and a sore throat.
I'm recovered now, and I realized that I not only have to recover psychologically (body dysmorphia, being afraid of mirrors, feeling compelled to throw up after large meals), but also from the phsyical damage I did to my body.
I got off lucky! If I had waited one month longer, I may have had to have one of my back molars removed. The receptionist told me, "You're too young to lose a tooth."
I thought to myself, "I'm too young to lose anything!"
I'm eighteen years old, and I've finally realized that I have my whole life ahead of me, and I shouldn't waste time with my head in a toilet.
But to all who go after me... even if you're afraid of the dentist, go! Don't wait until your mouth starts killing you... Save your teeth!
-Cassie
