Just Venting - Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

MariaBB · 05-27-2008, 11:48 AM

We should write a book on what NOT to say to somebody with an ED. After not seeing my mother in a while we met for lunch. Today she sent me an email saying: "Is there a reason you were drinking a lot of liquids? Is it a diet trick? I was proud that you ate all your food.”

What?

She was 'proud I ate all my food'? I'm 38 years old, not 3.8!

I polietly emailed her back stating this topic was off limits (again). I've told her this several times in the past. Of course, she blew up and said I was over sensitive. No wonder I avoid her.

Sorry all. Just venting.

Phoenix · 05-28-2008, 05:03 AM

Hello Maria,

One of the truisms that I have learned in life is that we cannot change our parents reactions to our behaviors; only the way we react to them, once they have expressed their thoughts.

Take care.

Respectfully,

Phoenix

rheanna · 05-28-2008, 07:30 AM

MariaBB,

Phoenix speaks wise words.

In some cases I have learned to modify my reactions to the triggers from other people. In other cases I have stopped my contact with them for a period of time. I cannot control them. But I can make decisions about how I react, and/or whether I want to be around them, especially when I am not yet ready to change my reaction to them.

Yes, parents can be difficult to be around. They also have their triggers, as well as their blind spots, just as we do.

I am glad that we have HealthBoards to rant on!

--Rheanna