Hello Melissa,
I haven't been on the eating disorders board in a long time myself... I had a severe bout of anorexia at the age of around 18. I am now 33. I may be a bit of a "weird" eater but I feel ok.
You ask if the period weight thing will even out. I would really think so. You know, part of how much weight we gain at puberty is genetic. Part also has to do with our eating habits of course.
Now going the nothing-instead-of-all way again would not be very smart as you say yourself you know. Not only will it most likely make you unhappy and turn into a severe and possibly life-threatening addiction again, it is also not good for your body. The key to feeling good about oneself is healthy eating not in terms of a diet, but in terms of something you want to KEEP doing. because if you restrict and then eat again, that only gets your body out of whack.
(Actually that may be another cause for your recent weight gain? Your body thinking it must hold on to the energy because there might be another starving period. In my early 20s, after I had gained back the weight from the anorexia, I went through a period where I did overeat quite a bit and gained more weight than I wanted to. Not to the point of being overweight, but I think for me it was quite much.)
Don't listen to that voice inside of you that tells you you're a failure! I think that's the anorexia talking, don't you think so? At your age, especially when you first get your period, your body is going through a whole lot of changes. That is normal.
The other question is, how is your weight form an objective point of view? Do other people see you as "fat" too? Or is it just your perception?
The fact that you posted here shows that there is a healthy part in you too that does want to keep recovering! Listen to that part.
Kathrin