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Old 06-12-2008, 03:30 AM   #1
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Seeking help

I have come on this site sort of seeking help, as I don't really know who else to talk to about it....

I've always been overweight, even as a child, and I've always over ate, its always something I've been quite ashamed of, I'm not sure if what I had was binge eating disorder or compulsive overeating, but I've always ate in secret and in large amounts, I felt unable to control what I was eating. Due to all this I've always had really low self esteem, and I've always been trying to diet, you name the diet, I've done it!

About 2 months ago, I started to purge what I was eating, I saw it as an easy option to get whatever I ate out of my body, I feel a sort of high whenever I purge and I've lost weight, I don't think I'm bulimic because I don't binge eat anymore, basically whatever I eat I get back up, even if its a normal amount of food, for example yesterday I had a sandwich for dinner and I threw it up imediately after, I just don't know what to do, I know what I'm doing is wrong and damaging to my body, but after years and years of dieting and being depressed over my weight, I feel this is the only way I can control my eating habits, if I stop I will just start binge eating again, I'm too scared to tell anyone and I don't really want to go and see a doctor, I really just don't know what to do

 
Old 06-13-2008, 03:52 AM   #2
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Re: Seeking help

Hello Natalie,

Please do not be opposed to seeing a doctor.

There may be internal damage or imbalances that are not visible to the naked eye.

If you had a broken bone, you wouldn't try to treat it yourself.

Stress, depression and a host of other factors can trigger eating disorders.

Are you willing to see a therapist?

Respectfully,

Phoenix

 
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Old 06-13-2008, 01:43 PM   #3
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Re: Seeking help

I'd be prepared to see a therapist I suppose

I don't think I'm doing this because of depression or anything like that, I just hate the way I am so much, I've dieted all my life, and it all got too much so I started to purge, and now I don't seem to be able to stop

I think I'm getting a bit out of control, I know I need to tell someone but I feel so guilty and ashamed of what I've been doing

 
Old 06-13-2008, 01:53 PM   #4
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Re: Seeking help

Natalie,

There may be self esteem problems, etc., that may be part of the equation.

The need to binge/purge does not happen overnight; this is definitely something that can be looked into.

I too felt guilty and ashamed and then I felt responsible; I owed it to myself to see what was going on and then do something about it.

Keep posting; it will help if you give it a chance.

As I always say, when in doubt, post it out.

Respectfully,

Phoenix

 
Old 06-14-2008, 11:37 AM   #5
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Re: Seeking help

Disordered eating is a manifestation of something else going on inside. That "something else" was there long before the behavior.

A therapist can help you learn better ways to cope with these inner issues and a dietician can help you find healthful ways to manage your weight.

A support group will provide accountability.

I'm glad you're reaching out here...it's a good step in the right direction (((hug)))!

Please keep in touch!

Love, Kelly

 
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