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Old 08-18-2008, 10:04 AM   #1
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jessiecat25 HB User
I'll start tomorrow?

Hi i succambe to bulimia 4yrs ago and remember how and why i first started doing it. since then i have had good periods of time and bad periods of time. I started bodybuilding and doing the shows helped and hindered my progress. Im currently experiencing a bad time and simple cant (wont!) stop eating, i always think "Right, this is the last time and tomorrow im gonna start eating normally!", well this is abad period of time has been over 2 months so far and im clinging to some hope that i'll get the will power to pull myself together. I suppose this wasnt much of a question but rather a way of saying that deep down i'll pull myself around at some point i know i will, i just want to be somewhere where people think im not weak or stupid for behaving this way, thanks xxx

Last edited by jessiecat25; 08-18-2008 at 10:05 AM.

 
Old 08-19-2008, 07:33 AM   #2
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monk1e HB User
Re: I'll start tomorrow?

I've been saying that for the past 4 years (I fell into the bulimic trap 7 years ago) and do you know what? I'm still saying it, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.

please tell me what eating normally is... I don't know, and I don't thank that I will ever know.

I know I'm saying it and so do you and I'm beginning to laugh at myself because I know it's silly for me to be saying it. There is no tomorrow and there never will be a tomorrow because tomorrow is always today.

I know I am sounding quite hypocritical but I find that focusing on the moment is the best thing. We get so wrapped up in tomorrow that we don't even think about today. say today i am going to be the best that I can can be, and take it toDAY by toDAY, not tomorrow by tomorrow, because we never see tomorrow.

We can expect to have good periods all the time just as much as we don't want the bad periods all the time, but we can't have one without the other. Keep your chin up doll, nobody here think you are week, or stupid... and hey, if you know that hope is in there then you know how to access it...

I'm a dancer (in training) I know how it feels when you are working out and I know how it feels when you are not. But as much as you have the pysical and mental strength to put yourself through that training, you have to keep that composure when you are not training. Stay focused, have fun, let it go. Don't think about tomorrow... it's all about you, and it's all about today. Try smiling, try laughing for no reason. go for a walk, talk to an old friend.

..you got me too, and together we can make it better today xx

Last edited by monk1e; 08-19-2008 at 07:38 AM. Reason: wanted to say more

 
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Old 08-20-2008, 04:53 AM   #3
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: england
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jessiecat25 HB User
Re: I'll start tomorrow?

That all made alot of sense to me monki. Well Here's one for you....i started tomorrow, yesterday and stuck through it the whole day, im doing the same today and so far so good! And you know what, im gonna do the same thing tomorrow (I know what your thinking!) and i really am, wanna do it with me?

Some times what i need more than anything is someone to check up on me, someone i can report my progress to, does that sound silly? In the fitness world i know what it is i want to achieve but the only way i can move forward is having someone who understands why i binge, why i be sick, and its difficult to find that person. God i need help haha

 
Old 08-20-2008, 09:01 AM   #4
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: England
Posts: 52
monk1e HB User
Re: I'll start tomorrow?

Hey jessica25! Nice one!! Stick with it an keep going. The day's become a lot better when you are focusing on them. I'm doing the same this week and my days are flying by!..(Wait now...tomorrow's going to be the longest day of my life!!)

Keep your chin up doll, I'm hear with you, you keep venting to me how you are doing, and I will keep listening

...don't stop

I can understand why you think you want to binge and purge...sweetheart I know that deep down you don't. But I can say that I can relate to the feelings that you have and the thoughts that go around your head. The only thing with me now is that I don't even know why I binge and/or purge. It's gotten to that stage now, which is why I'm finding not 'easy' but 'easier' to be in recoverey. I know what I am doing and I know it is bad for me. I don't want to do it anymore and I still am. I don't know why I am doing this and... I do it so calmly, it's so weird.

inthe words of Theodore Roosevelt...

'Do what you can, with what you have, where you are'

... and have an awsome day

monki xx

 
Old 08-22-2008, 06:08 AM   #5
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: California
Posts: 54
Daniella28 HB User
Re: I'll start tomorrow?

Hi. I used to live like that waiting till tomorrow or next week. When I chose to recover and it took 12 years I made the choice to start that day or after a slip to get back on track. I had to realize if I waited for the perfect time or till I was ready it would never happen. Recovery is hard as hell. That is why people suffer so long. There are a lot of ups and downs.You can do it though. So every day focus on what you can do that day to be healthy. Also sometimes in recovery things feel worse mentally and physically till that get better but they will if you give it a chance.

 
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