Hi everyone,
I'm new to the boards and I am sooooo relieved that I found this site. Less than a week ago I finally admitted to the fact that I've been struggling with an eating disorder for the past two years, though my obsession with my weight started back to when I was between 7-9 years old. As I entered my teens I struggled with my weight and had a problem with overeating due to stressful circumstances and rejection issues. What started out with a diet, two years ago, has turned into an unhealthy addiction with not gaining weight, trying to get down to the "perfect weight", and avoiding as much food as possible. In the beginning, I dropped a lot of weight in just a few months and got down to a healthy weight. (Though not eating was probably not the healthiest method.) I am starting to reap many of the benefits of what comes with eating disorders.....hair loss, dizziness, passing out, bad circulation, among a ton of other things. I am also freaking out since my mom threw out the scale.
I am not a full on anorexic, and I'm not bulimic. I have never thrown up or used laxatives. But I restrict constantly and it's getting worse and worse. If I eat anything considered "normal" I end up punishing myself and immediately restricting more and more. I honestly wouldn't be eating a thing if it wasn't for the passing out problem that I deal with a lot, I eat enough to get enough energy to avoid doing it all the time. But what I eat is not even close to being enough and it's killing my body. Even though I'm writing this I'm still struggling with denial. Some days I know I need to get help, and then other days I freak out about having to eventually start trying to eat again. I am so scared of food....and am trying not to think about having to actually eat again. I don't even remember how to eat a regular meal. I think I fit in the EDNOS category. Does this sound like I really need help? Am I severe enough to get it?
Of course you are.
If its been a problem for that long, and if your scared of eating
because of your fear of gaining weight I'm almost positive you have
a pretty severe eating disorder.
Forcing your self to eat when you fist start recovery is always really scary.
But you have to think about your health, and how much happier you will
be once your world doesn't revolve around food anymore. Eating disorders
take away so much of your life, with all of the obsessing, and restricting.
You are not alone,I suffer with the same problems everyday,I have been for the past 5 years!I went through Therapy and seeing a Pdoc to be put on medication,in my opinion,just going to a rehab is the best thing.Of course,it's expensive as heck and I don't have that type pf money to throw around like that.Just be patient,find support groups in your area and speak to others who have Ed.When you talk to people who have it personaly,you can relate and not feel so ashamed.I post on here as much as I can,everyone is very helpfull,but I hope you can get some answers.If you need anything,I'll try to do my best!
if you are struggling with a problem, you deserve to get help, no matter WHAT your weight or habits. it sounds like your mom is already concerned about you, based on her throwing your scale away. do you feel comfortable telling her about this and asking to see a counselor/therapist/psychologist/doctor? i wish you all the best and if you need anything, never hesitate to ask me.
