It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 05-05-2009, 10:33 PM   #1
tak tak is offline
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 54
tak HB User
Eating disorder & many other problems-

First and worst, I have an eating problem where I eat nothing or 1 small thing per day (otherwise my stomach bothers me), OR I binge at night and then fast the next day. It's a combination of wanting to lose weight, feeling physically sick and stressed, and helpless with nothing else to turn to. Anyway, I try REALLY hard to avoid or get rid of this quite often, but can't.

Onto the next part: I've had different problems for a while, but they were all manageable. For one, I was always a slightly anxious and shy person, so making friends was a little hard and as a teen, I had some troubles with depression. Well, I kind of got an eating disorder when I was mid to late teens, with obsessing over exercising because I always thought my legs were fat even though I was under weight (I'm still convinced they were/are). I obsessively exercised for a while there, which wasn't too bad, but then I started getting very upset and I would cope by eating for a long time/eating a lot, then exercising to the point of where I would injure my muscles, raise my heart rate too high too fast, etc. pretty much until I cried, usually in the middle of the night.

I don't know if that was before or after my dad died, but he suddenly died half a year ago. It was my first time away at college (as a transfer student) and we went home for break, he was fine, then it literally went from that to him being in a coma and dead the DAY I went back to school after break, because he died from a sudden illness, I won't give all the details here but basically he died from nothing other than possible malpractice because they let him stop breathing and didn't save him the proper way, so under a doctor's care (after already going to work that morning) he just.. didn't breath for 10 minutes, then his brain was dead and he was in a coma and I came home and we had to pull the tube, then I went right back to school because my mom made me.

Anyway, I couldn't cope with school, so I came home every weekend, sorta lost my friends or distanced from them, feel suicidal, and eat until my stomach is in horrible, horrible pain, where I can barely breath, then fast. I actually lost weight (already was underweight, too) even with the bingeing. I have constant stomach pain, feel depressed, sad, anxious, upset, and suicidal most ofthe time, even though I try SO hard to make things better. I feel like I'm constantly lookingforaway to make things better, but the only ways that work are the eating while escapting to a favorite tv show while everyone's asleep, until I feel very very sick, OR not eating for a long, long period of time, or sleeping for a long, long perod of time, or taking meds that make me dazed and sleep, and that's pretty much it. I try other things but they don't really work. These things do, but they're bad things and I'm sick of it. Please help even if you just have little advice you're not sure about, anything I really appreciate. Thanks.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 05-06-2009, 11:34 AM   #2
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 61
SqrrlGrrl HB User
Re: Eating disorder & many other problems-

Hi Tak,

I am so sorry you lost your dad. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose a parent. I couldn't imagine going through life without either one of mine.

I use food to escape also (you mentioned eating in front of the TV). Some things that have helped me lately are ED self help books, 12 step meetings (I highly recommend OA), and focusing as well as throwing myself into the things I value in my life. I also focus on how much money I could save by eating in a non-abusive manor. I think of all the positive things I could do with the extra cash!

May I ask if anyone in you life knows about your ED? Do you have any kind of support system?

SG

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
AGUS/AGC pap results - questions about ECC & endometrial biopsy angel4747 Cancer: Cervical & Ovarian 38 04-11-2012 12:21 PM
bipolar & eating disorders kittyy Bipolar Disorder 16 07-29-2005 08:54 PM
HELP! Chewing&spiting eating disorder sushi_pompom Eating Disorder Recovery 1 05-25-2005 12:27 AM
Suffer a binge eating disoder? cka2525 Addiction & Recovery 9 04-27-2005 06:15 PM
Eating Disorder - Feeling Out of Luck... :( ShadeMeJaz Diabetes 6 04-12-2005 08:16 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:43 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!