Hi. I'm new to this board, but I've been bulimic for five . . . or six or seven years, depending on how you look at it.
My problem in the past few years has had a lot to do with finding help. A lot more than I would have thought, pre-eating disorder. You see, I had only Medicaid for the longest time. I live in Indiana, which has only one residential eating disorder facility (Selah House) that does not take Medicaid. When I looked for something out of state, I pretty much struck out.
Now, two years since my last frantic search for treatment, I have Medicare and am resuming my quest. In a way, a lot of things are better now. I used to be out of work, only bingeing and purging all day. I used to be anorexically thin and pretty sure my eating disorder would kill me. I didn't keep any food down at all. Now, I eat fairly normal meals . . . well, mainly fruit and yogurt, but enough to keep my weight at a steady norm for my heighth. I have a job which I have held down for over a year and a half. BUT . . . I still binge and purge every day, and all my money goes, literally, down the toilet. I want to stop so I can pay down my debts (which will take years even if I waste no money) and go back to school and study art therapy or SOMETHING that will make a difference.
Near the beginning of my long phone list, I find myself once again disheartened because the first several places told me no, they don't take Medicare, but someone must. This sounds remarkably like what I was told two years ago. Though I am no longer frightened of dying from my eating disorder, I still want my life back. I have no friends. I lie constantly to my family. I want to live and love and have kids. I'm twenty-seven, folks. I've only got so long! (Biological clock ticking . . .)
So, I sat at home, mulling all this over, all my experiences, frustrations, all the dead-ends, and I thought . . . I can't be the only one.
I've recently been made aware of <the opportunity for scholarship assistance>. I plan to apply, at least if I can't find someplace that will take Medicare. (Seems silly for there not to be a place, since this durned eating disorder is the reason I have
Medicare.) So if you identify, go, apply, but in the meantime . . .
Why can't we do something about this lapse of coverage? <removed> I've heard stories of people who've died because they were denied insurance coverage. And don't forget, there's more than one way to lose your life. If you've lost time, love, friends, family, work, career, passion, joy . . . any of these . . . these are the things life is made of.
I don't want to sit alone anymore over pizza, wondering what my life could be like, if only. I think "the system" needs a definite overhaul - make mental health treatment more accessible, especially eating disorder treatment.
I could go on about how treatment should not only be more accessible but also more informed, more sensitive to the needs of its clientele, but that's a whole other post.
Thanks if you read this, and . . . think about it. Your stories are waiting to be heard.