Hi. I'm new to this board, but I've been bulimic for five . . . or six or seven years, depending on how you look at it.
My problem in the past few years has had a lot to do with finding help. A lot more than I would have thought, pre-eating disorder. You see, I had only Medicaid for the longest time. I live in Indiana, which has only one residential eating disorder facility (Selah House) that does not take Medicaid. When I looked for something out of state, I pretty much struck out.
Now, two years since my last frantic search for treatment, I have Medicare and am resuming my quest. In a way, a lot of things are better now. I used to be out of work, only bingeing and purging all day. I used to be anorexically thin and pretty sure my eating disorder would kill me. I didn't keep any food down at all. Now, I eat fairly normal meals . . . well, mainly fruit and yogurt, but enough to keep my weight at a steady norm for my heighth. I have a job which I have held down for over a year and a half. BUT . . . I still binge and purge every day, and all my money goes, literally, down the toilet. I want to stop so I can pay down my debts (which will take years even if I waste no money) and go back to school and study art therapy or SOMETHING that will make a difference.
Near the beginning of my long phone list, I find myself once again disheartened because the first several places told me no, they don't take Medicare, but someone must. This sounds remarkably like what I was told two years ago. Though I am no longer frightened of dying from my eating disorder, I still want my life back. I have no friends. I lie constantly to my family. I want to live and love and have kids. I'm twenty-seven, folks. I've only got so long! (Biological clock ticking . . .)
So, I sat at home, mulling all this over, all my experiences, frustrations, all the dead-ends, and I thought . . . I can't be the only one.
I've recently been made aware of <the opportunity for scholarship assistance>. I plan to apply, at least if I can't find someplace that will take Medicare. (Seems silly for there not to be a place, since this durned eating disorder is the reason I have Medicare.) So if you identify, go, apply, but in the meantime . . .
Why can't we do something about this lapse of coverage? <removed> I've heard stories of people who've died because they were denied insurance coverage. And don't forget, there's more than one way to lose your life. If you've lost time, love, friends, family, work, career, passion, joy . . . any of these . . . these are the things life is made of.
I don't want to sit alone anymore over pizza, wondering what my life could be like, if only. I think "the system" needs a definite overhaul - make mental health treatment more accessible, especially eating disorder treatment.
I could go on about how treatment should not only be more accessible but also more informed, more sensitive to the needs of its clientele, but that's a whole other post.
Thanks if you read this, and . . . think about it. Your stories are waiting to be heard.
Last edited by mod-anon; 05-20-2009 at 12:38 AM.
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Many people think treatment centers are the cure...the answer. But recovery is a whole hell of a lot of work whether you go through a treatment center or not. When you leave a treatment center, you will have to go back home. You will no longer be in a structured environment. Many people find this transition very hard
I found OA and using a nutritionist far more helpful than going to a treatment center. With OA you have people you can call and see on a regular basis for support. And I could e-mail my nutritionist anytime or speak with her between 8 and 5 o'clock during the week. It was awesome!
You may consider seeing a therapist as well. That is also an option.
Treatment centers are not the only option. There are cheaper ways to find recovery and support.
I hope you keep posting with us. I find this board to be extremely helpful
Yes, I know it takes a lot of work. I've been trying to recover for quite a while now. I need that extra bit of help I believe a treatment center could provide.
I was in outpatient therapy for several years - not specialized to my eating disorder, because my insurance would cover nothing for eating disorders - not the dietitian, counseling, nothing. I had to get in surreptitiously by other means. Fortunately (ha ha), I had other emotional baggage and could get help for that. If you could call it help. Meanwhile, the eating disorder ravaged my life, and I had to teach my therapist about bulimia, et al. The center I went to for therapy, groups, etc., turned out to be no help at all. I ended up getting worse, till I got so sick of the ineptitude/ridiculousness of it all that I got just enough "better" to get out of the situation.
I have thought for a long time that an ED treatment center could provide some things that might make it possible for a full recovery, something I cannot seem to accomplish on "the outside":
1) It could get me away from the opportunity to binge and purge. I only binge when food is available in excess quantity, and I 99% of the time do not purge when I do not binge.
2) I have for a long time wished to work with people who actually understood eating disorders. What has frustrated me for a long time is that my insurance will not let me see people who actually specialize in eating disorders. Instead, I see people who specialize in major mood disorders, or personality disorders, who don't seem to have a clue about bulimia. Instead, I was told that they'd do nothing until I hit a certain low weight (which I never quite reached), then they'd tube feed me until I gained weight, then if I lost weight they'd tube feed me again, et cetera, ad infinitum.
What I'm saying here is that, as far as I know and up to this point, NOTHING, not inpatient, not outpatient, not residential, not anything at all, is available to me as far as treatment for my eating disorder. Now, I have not looked long with Medicare. There may be something with Medicare, but definitely not with Medicaid, at least not in Indiana and many other states. I can't be the only one in this dilemma. (Am I? - Should I feel even lonelier than I do now?) SOMETHING MUST BE DONE. I am willing to do what must be done, but I don't know what to do, and frankly, I'd really rather not do it alone. I'm impassioned, but easily discouraged. (A common thing among ED sufferers, I'm told.)
Now, I understand that even among professionals who specialize in eating disorders, there are some bad apples in the bunch. Everywhere you go, you're going to find someone who's narrow-minded, unsympathetic, or plain burnt out. But shouldn't I get the chance to at least look? Shouldn't everyone?
*sigh* I'm an idealist, I know. If I ran the world, no one would ever get left out of something they NEED because of money. Not that I'm volunteering to run the world. Not a chance. I just really, really, really want to change this one thing. Selfish? Yes. Maybe. So that I can get treatment, or at least feel justified in wanting to be as valuable as those who can afford to drop $40,000-$100,000 for six weeks of intensely hard work. So that I can get my life back and use it to do something even more valuable in return. I don't want anyone to ever have to feel as worthless as I have felt these past few years.
Bulimia can be treated in several ways but not very many of them really cure. It depends on how serious you have been affected by this illness but most people performs group therapy where sufferers are supposed to get ongoing support and help from other sufferers and a group leader. But still Bulimia nervosa treatment can be the best option to cure this illness.
Theres an ANAD group in Ft. Wayne, IN. Search online for "anorexia nervosa and associated distorders". They list a contact, email address and phone number for Ft. Wayne. ANAD groups worked for me and the meetings are free.