Excuse my spelling. I am 34 years old, and I have suffered from an eating disorder since the age of 16. Change from girl to woman was something I couldn't hadle. I was sexually abused, however now I am in a good relationship with my partner, but not with me. Last time I wrote on this message board I felt nothing but shame. The rubbish I wrote was alochol fused. I am receiving help for my alcohol intake which I am grateful for. However alcohol for me is very mixed, even fixed with my need for sweet food, as alchol contains alot of sugar. I am hoping for a ditox this year, but I'm petrifried! Drink and Bulimia are so linked for me. C
Yes, I understand what you are saying. I had a hard time from girl to woman. With controlling parents and low self esteem, the one thing that I could have control of was bullima. It was so easy for me and the more that I consumed sugar, the happier I was and throwing up was so easy to get rid of it. It was my secret and no one knew. One day as I was throwing up, I noticed that this time I had blood coming up too. It was an eye opener for me and now I knew that I would kill myself by continuing to do this to myself. I was too smart and strong to let this happen to me. Besides, I was ruining my looks and teeth plus wasting so much time. The high that I got from sugar was not enough to change my loneliness and unhapiness with myself. I got a therapist to help me see what I needed to do before it was too late. It was a long process for me , but I realized that I was just trying to somehow medicate myself. The reality was that I couldn't find myself and i felt inadequite. My game was over and I had to grow up and accept my fears. I was not abused by anyone except myself. I was really good at that. So my dear, your cry is a great step for you and i hope that you get help before you drown in self destruction.
I just wanted to stop in and say thank you. I was in a relationship with a girl that had an ED, and I never had any idea how hard of a change it is from a girl to a women really is. I also wanted say that this place is felled with people who are here to help you, just have to give them time.
I'm here to try to gain a better understanding of how EDs work and effect people. I know it's a little odd, but I feel like I need to do this.