I am currently suffering/ trying to recover from years of BED and laxative abuse. I am so sick of the cycle and, although I've tried before, this time I realize that if I don't succeed now then I don't know when I ever will. I'm also sick of losing years of my life and especially my social life to this.
I need help and advice about how to go about this, especially because I don't have the luxury of affording a therapist. The hardest part for me is the transitional time of recovery - the time between quitting laxatives cold turkey and some future point in time when I am completely healed and with regular BM's. I've tried to quit them enough times before to know how bloated I am going to be. If I don't have a BM daily I feel fat and disgusting, leading to self-loathing, leading to binges. I know it shouldn't be that way but that is what I'm dealing with right now.
So my main concern would be -- how can I make my BM as frequent and regular as possible as I recover? I'm already taking 2 different probiotics, 1000g of magnesium daily, fiber supplements, and fiber cereal daily. I eat a ton of fruit/vegetables, and I made the decision to cut out 99% of non-whole foods (anything processed), also I am trying to avoid sugar whenever possible. I've been lazy with the cardio lately, as I feel that the laxatives just drained me of all my energy, but I am going to make a concious effort to incorporate more cardio.
I've heard people on here suggest yoga -- I've tried this in the past but not enough to know if it would really help get the bowels moving. Does it help? and do you know if it would make more or less of a difference if it was hot yoga as opposed to not- hot yoga? I tried hot yoga once before and had a laaarge movement the next day (sorry, I know, TMI), but that could have just been a coincidence.
Sorry for such a long post, but ANYTHING you can suggest would be helpful. Also, I would love an encouraging story letting me know that I CAN do this and that it IS possible. Please help, I need as much help as I can get.
for those recovered, is it possible without a therapist? i priced a therapist and it's $150/hr, and i would need a session once a week... i'm 23, not exactly able to afford that. i need to do SOMETHING though...
I completly understand where ur coming from with the therapist problem. I don't know if there are maybe some low income options in your area? I am in Scotland, so here it's either pay extortionate amounts of money to see somebody good or wait a long long time from the health service, and get whoever ur given! By which point th problem is sometimes much worse! I know thehealth insurance and fees in the US can be really expesive, so low income option is all i can really suggest. Maybe ur doctor will have some info?
As for how ur coping right now, it seems u have a good plan in place with what ur eating. iot seems to be really healthy and varied. I know it must be really ahrd though breaking a habit. In a way the fact the laxatives drain so much energy means this must have a knock on affect when it comes to exercise? It's really good ur doing workouts- but the strain on ur body when taking laxatives has the opposite affect as am sure u know. try as much as possible to replace that method with good cardio (yet not overdoing it). Your diet is so rich in goodness, all i can encourage is to remind ursefl when you want to take one to think how much of that goodness will be leaving ur body when you do-that it would otherwise be using to build up muscle and do good throughout your body generally .
Also it will take away your energy for proper exercise (which to be honest will safely burn the calories ur body wants to burn- not get rid of the good stuff and make you feel lethargic. ) When you feel more invigorated and positive, think about how much betetr you will feel. sometimes it takes thinking about the possibilities of feeling better before u can actually start to take those steps. But it's great to hear u have a plan in place. good food and exercise, its the nuts and bolts of health- and as u say your cutting out on the rubbish too. It's about stopping wanting to get rid of that.
I really hope some of this makes sense. This is not my personal experience of an eating disorder, but the idea of breaking the cycle- breaking the habits and how difficult that can be, ring very true in my experience. I suffered from anxiety which made me not want to eat, and by the time i was a teenager- ands weight was more of an interest to myelf and my peers, i began to think about food mmore and more until I had put myelf right off it. Nomatter how much I wanted to want it. I couldn't get it passed about five mouthfuls at each meal. The more I worriedabt what i was doing and the iller i got, the harder it became to deal with when i finally did put on weight- I was too used to starving myself. I am dealing with it better now, but it still has been an issue- but my point is, if am honest is that as hard as it is to deflect ur attention from that old habit- to a new healthier one, and the more u welcome the change and give it ur all, the more it will start to fall into place. Don't berate yourself for slip ups, but keep on the track and perhaps if u can trust ur doctor or involve someone close to u in this process so ur not doing it alone, that may help? I wish u all the best in ur recovery..u got the tools u need to overcome this and I am sure u will. :-) ((hugs)) and love