ok i'm really new to this but i really want to kick this bad habit so i've decided to try new approaches. from age 11 to about 14 i forced myself to vomit whenever i was stressed which was about 3 times a week. i was never skinny just always average sized. i never made myself vomit because of appearance insecurities or weight at this point. in the beginning of ninth grade i broke the bad habit by myself. i gained alot of wieght in the four years that i was "sober". when i was about 18 i started up again. i would binge and purge every couple of days than at 19 i pretty much stopped eating and whenever i did eat (maybe twice a week) i'd purge. by age 20 i was full force again, i would throw up any time i ate then binge and purge at night once my roommates were asleep. i started to become ill so i would only purge three times a week (about four times a day). at this point it was about weight, stress, relief, shame and a ton of other things. at 21 i started to notice that it hurt more to throw up and sometimes there would be blood so greatly decreased my purging but still did it every once in a while (mostly when i felt depressed or stressed or like i couldn't cope with a situation). i started chewing and spitting when i had trouble vomiting and then it became a thing. whenever i was home alone i'd chew and spit. i eventually moved in with my boyfriend who had a huge problem with my bulimia (i don't think he knows about the chewing and spitting) so i've pretty much stopped completely but everyday when i eat i feel so guilty and fat and depressed, the next day all i can think about is how disgusted i am with myself... so soon as he leaves for work i chew and spit. i've been doing it a year now and it's becoming more and more frequent. it's the only way i feel relief since i haven't been binging and purging. i really just want both problems to be over with and need advice on how to stop doing these things forever. i don't know anyone else with these problems so when i try to talk to someone about it i feel like they just don't understand... please help!
I think this habit is one of the less dominate eating disorders. One time I was watching a TV talk show and some dumb guy started talking about how he'd learned to chew and spit while he was dieting to look good for a role. I don't think he had any idea he was describing learning an eating disorder.
How much do you do the chew/spit. Is it just once a day? And how much do you do it.
I hate to put it this way, but it's certainly less dangerous than bulimia. But I understand being fed up with the whole eating issue and wanting to get it fixed and sane once and for all.
Give me a few more details about your current issue. Thanks.
Hi Sunshine - Don't worry - you're not weird and what you do is common with more people than you would know. I used to do the same things as you...and, although I'd consider myself not mentally sick anymore, there are times (like once every 3 months) that I will throw up my food and there are times (like whenever I have junk food in my house - a couple times each week) that I'll do the spit thing. It's gross and I'd like to stop it too, but it's tough because really, there are few side effects to it. Where would you say you are right now? Like, are you in control of your binging and purging? Gaining control over yourself happens over years, not over night. So take your time and be patient. It'll come. As for the spitting, well, it's not wrong, but maybe you could try taking a bite of something, swallowing it, then tossing the rest into the garbage (after mixing it with water or something so you don't pull it out of the garbage)? Slowly, you might stop doing so much chewing and spitting. I hope this helps! Good luck!