My best friend and ex (she broke up with me about a month ago because she felt inadequate) is very depressed and suicidal. Since her family relies on her and she understands what killings herself would do to me and them, she decided to stay alive. However, she refuses to get treatment for her depression and the pain is quite unmanageable. To cope with the pain she has started depriving herself of food. She has been anorexic in the past for a few years and reached extreme levels of malnutrition and emaciation.
She told me about her new phase of anorexia two days ago and I have been a complete mess ever since. I begged her for hours to stop this, reminded her of all the side-effects she still suffers from (joint pain, stomach aches, etc.) but she says that the anorexia "sustains her" and that it's the only way she can cope with the pain of being alive. I told her that if she got antidepressants she could manage her pain much better without any long-term harm. She won't listen.
What do I now? I love her dearly and care about her and can't stop caring about her. I can't turn to her family because they're useless (I've turned to them before when she was on the verge of suicide and lived to regret it deeply). I don't live in the same country as her. Begging for her to spare me all this pain isn't working. Reminding her of what harm she is doing to herself isn't working either.