I don't think i have a eating disorder, but i need help beforreni get one.
so far, I have tried to make myself vomit about 6 different times.
i didnt succeed any of the times. the last time i have tried so far i spit out a little bit of blood. it scared me, so i stopped trying to make myself barf. i even look up on the the internet how to make myself barf.
I don't know what's happening to me! one minute i feel beautiful and great, and the next i feel like i wanna die and fat and ugly. i missed my period last month, but i just started my period, so i think irregular scedule is normal.
y year ago i remember saying to my mom " i'll never become anorexic! its stupid!" but now, idk!! 97/100 of my friends are skinny, so it doesnt help. i eat healthier than most, but i still feel like cr@p.
i dont know how posting this will help, but basically, lately i have had major mood swings, trying to purge, eating less and then eating more because i get really hungry and i have no self control;(, and if i get full i feel guilty and sad. I'm not putting my age, but i am a preteen who is desperate.
p.s. my weight changes from 114 lbs to 116.9 lbs throughout the day everyday and it makes me depressed. im 5'4", so i have a normal BMI, but i still feel like i need to barf out my food when im dine eating it. havent succeeded yet, but i fear i might keep trying. im a mess.
i also excercise vigorisly for about 5-10 minutes if i feel fat
p.s.s a couple weeks ago i also started crying a lot and i cut myself with scissors and nail/ cuticle thingys. my mom had no clue why i was crying and i still havent told her.