helllo this may seem like a long story but i'll really try to make it short I feel the need to talk. I am going through a very tough time lately in my life once again.. I am the youngest of 4 kids, My whole family has had weight problems. anyways I have always had a weight problem i was at my heighest weight 208 pounds for 5'5. 2 years ago i decided to lose it all because of a boy i had a major crush on at my office who never ever even looked at me or talked to me or even noticed me. I haven't seen him since i lost my weight.. i am now 5'5 128.0 pounds and feel it is not good enough.. I am never satisfied with the way i am i feel i am the same as i was. if i gain one pound i am sick and will make myself sick to lose them.. i have limited my food portions have become vegan do not eat any dairy, trans fats, sugars ( except from fruit or natural sugars) , carbs and my family is forcing me to eat chicken and bread ( wheat which has 40 calories in one slice, to me i feel like im eating a big mac) i take laxatives and anything in order to lose weight.. yes.. i admit it i am addicted to losing weight and looking at myself constantly .. i weigh myself all day every hour after i had a meal or go to the bathroom.. my whole family is on my back telling me what to do what to eat and have booked a schedule for me to get some bloodwork done this week. i have been putting allot of stress on my body lately that apparently it shows on my face, my mother has told me i look 35 when i am only 21 years of age.. i am very tired physically and inside i cry i hurt so much.. i don't know why is it because i am missing something in my life? i have never had a bf, i have dated here and there but never had anything than just a kiss and that's it i feel im not ready.. i don't have much of a social life either in los angeles.. i have lived my whole life moving back and forth from paris to los angeles.. not having much friends.. i am a very social person fun ... but lately i have been very sad inside because of my weight and the pressure my family has been putting on me.. i feel watched constantly in everything i do.. i feel im going mad!! thank you for reading and listening.. it really does help me.. here are some before and after photos of me if it interest's anyone thank you for hearing me ..
