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Old 03-29-2011, 10:25 PM   #1
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misskris10 HB User
Purging Anorexia, Please help someone!

Okay,

So I have had an eating disorder since I was 17 years old. I am now 21 years old. I started everything out as 5'6 133 pounds. I felt fat, and bad about myself so I basically started to restrict. It got easier, and as time progressed it was out of my control completely. I got down to 97 pounds at my lowest. This was in a matter of approximately 6 months. I somehow, managed to overcome this because kids at school were making fun of me calling me a walking skeleton etc. so I got on a plan to gain the weight back. I was back to 130 within a matter of 6 months. Then, I went right back into restrictive patterns. I got down to 118, and was somehow able to stay at this weight for a matter of months with exercise and not eating more than 500-600 calories a day. Then, I opened a Pandora's box about 6 months ago. I started purging. I was so upset I couldn't lose weight, I resorted to purging. It messed up my metabolism even more than I ever anticipated. I got really good at purging and started doing it everyday with every thing I ate (which I am a vegetarian so all healthy foods) I made myself stop about a month and a half ago. I also started birth control. Within a few days of starting birth control, and stopping purging I have managed to gain a staggering 10 pounds. I am absolutely appalled and devastated. I absolutely hate myself right now. I feel fat, disgusting and hopeless. I work out every single day, have not changed anything about my diet (still 500-600 calories a day no meat) I almost want to just give up hope. Can anyone please help me?? I don't know why I have gained so much weight, and I am praying that someone else has some advice for me. I am always bloated and gassy. I have a feeling since I know a little about anatomy that my body somehow starting storing my food as soon as it entered my stomach, and now I feel my body is having trouble readjusting to keeping the food down. I also think the birth control has contributed to the weight gain immensely. Someone please help me, I'd really appreciate it.

 
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Old 03-31-2011, 04:34 AM   #2
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always8 HB User
Re: Purging Anorexia, Please help someone!

hello, here's a quickie reply before i have to go out.

i have many years of purging experience, and this is what i've ound re weight:-
whilst purging my weight is artificially low, because i get so dehydrated. when i stop purging for even a day the 'water-weight' quicky returns, and, yes, it's distressing to see such an apparent gain.

also, if i begin eating more solids without vomiting my body hangs onto the food for longer. it's as if digestion has slowed (i dont know the truth on this). i become constipated, and my body seems confused with the introduction of food going through it in one direction(!).

dont be tempted to restrict fluids to remain dehydrated... this'll make it worse.
the general advice seems to be take regularly spaced moderate sized balnced melas/ snacks. include veggies and whole grains for roughage to aid digestion. drink water throughout the day - aim for 2litres. MODERATE(!) exercise.
if there's any way you can bear to stop weighing yourself this would be great, as the numbers will mess with your head.

the idea is that, in time, your body should settle again, and process foods in a more efficient way.

perhaps try to consider that the apparent low weight achieved through purging was actually false. this may well be hard to hear, but the purging was tricking the scale.

im not pretending this is easy to do.... (iv yet to achieve recovery)....
do you have access to a dietitian with ED knowledge?

xx

 
Old 03-31-2011, 12:02 PM   #3
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misskris10 HB User
Re: Purging Anorexia, Please help someone!

Thank you so very much for your reply. What you have explained has been extremely helpful for me. I could try to look up a nutritionist in my area, but no one knows that I have been suffering with this eating disorder. In fact, I have told no one. The funny thing about it all is, I still fit into my jeans (some are tighter than others) and I noticed that I am always bloated, and my digestive processes in fact, have changed very much from before I started purging. I know this might be TMI but I used to very regular, and my movements were very normal looking. Now they are more sporadic, and seem to not be the shape that they are supposed to (or used to be) are you still purging? Also, do you know how long it will take for my digestion to get back to normal? I feel so insecure about myself lately, its ridiculous. I almost don't want to leave the house.
Thanks again for your help.

 
Old 03-31-2011, 10:29 PM   #4
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always8 HB User
Re: Purging Anorexia, Please help someone!

<Thank you so very much for your reply.> You're more than welcome!
<I could try to look up a nutritionist in my area, but no one knows that I have been suffering with this eating disorder.> Ok. The reason I suggested finding some help with diet is that i've found it helpful to have input from an outsider. My thought process gets very illogical and irrational around food(no surprise there!) so I used to benefit from having someone else reality test my thinking. How clued up to you feel re making a suitably balanced meal plan for yourself (if this is something you'd like to try)? A note on your calorie intake: your body may be reluctant to drop any weight whilst you're restricting. It's a scary thing to do, but increasing your intake could in fact rev up the old metabolism as well as bringing your digestion back to life. Your stomach, intestine, bowel will not be working well with less than adequate intake.

You mentioned birth control: I don't have personal experience, but I gather it IS something that can affect your weight. Different meds give people varying side effects. It might be as simple as returning to the prescribing dr and mentioning the wt gain. You may be able to try an alternative drug.
(yes, it'd be worth mentioning your ED behaviours too, to get input around the impact on your health if nothing else.)

When purging you need to get your bloods monitored. Specifically re electrolytes. Using vomiting or laxatives can leave you deficient in salts (potassium, sodium), which puts your heart at risk. You may also be malnourished with such a restrictive diet. Do you take any precautions regarding your physical health +ED?

I'm aware that we haven't even touched on the emotional side of all this. There's going to be reasons for why you're harming yourself in this way. You're focusing on the weight and appearance but there could be other emotions and thoughts at play.

<are you still purging?> Yes I am. I'm 34 now and have been bulimic/ purging anorexic since about 17. Currently i'm in a cycle of restricting then binge and vom. A small victory for me yesterday was managing an evening WITHOUT my head down the toilet! I felt miserable and stroppy at the time, like a kid who'd had it's toy taken away, but I slept soundly and have woken feeling really chuffed with myself!

<Also, do you know how long it will take for my digestion to get back to normal?> I'm afraid there are far too many variables involved in order to state even a rough time span. It depends on what changes you manage to make, the content of your diet, your own personal body. :-/

<feel so insecure about myself lately, its ridiculous. I almost don't want to leave the house.> Hugs. This is to be expected. This board will never replace more individual help from a qualified doc or counsellor etc. You might also benefit from looking at what else do you have going on in your life.. how different things are impacting on you. Other stressors etc.

Take care and ask if you've any more Qs

 
Old 04-02-2011, 01:46 PM   #5
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misskris10 HB User
Re: Purging Anorexia, Please help someone!

Thank you SOOO much for your brave story and advice. I can't even tell you how much I appreciate it. I am sorry to hear you are still purging, but I know how addicting it is. It was amazing to me how I always told myself for many years that I would never be able to make myself purge, and then in November I got so fed up with my weight, I took a toothbrush and opened a pandora's box. It became an addiction in itself. And the worst part is the fact that, I felt really great and euphoric almost after I would purge. I know it's mainly my digestive system that needs to get back to normal. I am ALWAYS bloated and gassy now. I hate this feeling. It's been about a month and a half. I think I will try a cleanse. I am really hoping and praying this will help me get somewhat back to "normal." If you need to talk to someone, I am more than happy to be there for you. I will start researching my area for a dietitian. Funny thing is, I want to be a nutritionist!! lol That's what I am going to college for. HAHA anyways, moderate exercise. DO you think yoga everyday and treadmill and some weight training is too much? YOu have been so helpful, hopefully I'm not bothering you! I really wish you the best, and am sending hugs and love back to you as well.

 
Old 04-02-2011, 03:56 PM   #6
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always8 HB User
Re: Purging Anorexia, Please help someone!

Duplicated post.

Last edited by always8; 04-03-2011 at 02:17 AM. Reason: duplicated post

 
Old 04-02-2011, 04:04 PM   #7
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always8 HB User
Re: Purging Anorexia, Please help someone!

Hey you're not bothering me!
My phone is running out of juice for the night, so i'll post more later.
I can't advise on exercise as i'm prone to excess! I find yoga is good though, as it gets me used to recognising my body.(if that's not too wierd)

Lol to you being a nutritionist! Hey, why the hell not? At least you'll be able to identify with ppl.

My name's Ali btw. I have pseudonyms, but it makes contact dashes at first I suppose.
Zzzz

 
Old 04-02-2011, 06:41 PM   #8
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misskris10 HB User
Re: Purging Anorexia, Please help someone!

Haha I understand. Well, I think what I am going to do is start my cleanse Tuesday. And I am going to try to get on the treadmill everyday some days for longer than others. I know I have been over doing it (kind of). And I need to focus on drinking more water. I don't think I am drinking nearly enough. Yoga is amazing, I think it helps me sleep. I hope this works.

 
Old 04-17-2012, 10:54 AM   #9
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emmyybab HB User
Re: Purging Anorexia, Please help someone!

Quote:
Originally Posted by misskris10 View Post
Okay,

So I have had an eating disorder since I was 17 years old. I am now 21 years old. I started everything out as 5'6 133 pounds. I felt fat, and bad about myself so I basically started to restrict. It got easier, and as time progressed it was out of my control completely. I got down to 97 pounds at my lowest. This was in a matter of approximately 6 months. I somehow, managed to overcome this because kids at school were making fun of me calling me a walking skeleton etc. so I got on a plan to gain the weight back. I was back to 130 within a matter of 6 months. Then, I went right back into restrictive patterns. I got down to 118, and was somehow able to stay at this weight for a matter of months with exercise and not eating more than 500-600 calories a day. Then, I opened a Pandora's box about 6 months ago. I started purging. I was so upset I couldn't lose weight, I resorted to purging. It messed up my metabolism even more than I ever anticipated. I got really good at purging and started doing it everyday with every thing I ate (which I am a vegetarian so all healthy foods) I made myself stop about a month and a half ago. I also started birth control. Within a few days of starting birth control, and stopping purging I have managed to gain a staggering 10 pounds. I am absolutely appalled and devastated. I absolutely hate myself right now. I feel fat, disgusting and hopeless. I work out every single day, have not changed anything about my diet (still 500-600 calories a day no meat) I almost want to just give up hope. Can anyone please help me?? I don't know why I have gained so much weight, and I am praying that someone else has some advice for me. I am always bloated and gassy. I have a feeling since I know a little about anatomy that my body somehow starting storing my food as soon as it entered my stomach, and now I feel my body is having trouble readjusting to keeping the food down. I also think the birth control has contributed to the weight gain immensely. Someone please help me, I'd really appreciate it.

 
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