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Old 05-20-2011, 10:56 AM   #1
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: San Juan
Posts: 1
FatIssues HB User
Exclamation PLEASE RESPOND! What is wrong with me?

I am obsese, I eat compulsively.

But at the same time I hate my body and have a desperate need to be thin. Every time I eat I wish I could throw it all out but I don't because I hate the feeling, and when nobody's eating I feel like starving myself but when people offer me food I don't think and I just accept!

What is wrong with me?

 
Old 05-30-2011, 08:02 PM   #2
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 49
krlsgrl HB User
Re: PLEASE RESPOND! What is wrong with me?

Hi, FatIssues,

I have an eating disorder and for me, being sure I'm not hungry, not starving myself, is important. I know if I get overly hungry, I am more susceptible when someone offers me a food not on my plan.
I used to try to follow an extreme diet and it was a setup for me, because my extreme hunger backfired, instead of losing weight I binged and eventually gained weight.
Friends have told me, and I believe this, that it's important to love myself and treat myself well. A lot of the time my food problems seem like self-punishment and I do not want to live that way!!!

Hope you are doing well.

 
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Old 05-31-2011, 09:37 AM   #3
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: uk
Posts: 15
always8 HB User
Re: PLEASE RESPOND! What is wrong with me?

I wish I had an answer for you, but I just wanted to respond in some way and let you know ppl care.

I relate to what you wrote, and I am very frustrated with myself. I seem to go out of my way to cause myself misery. I hurt myself with various disordered behaviours, and am miserable. So why do I do it?! My only response to that so far is: I feel I deserve to hurt, I am unhappy even when I don't hurt myself so what's the point in trying to stop?, I have little regard for my health, it's a habit, I loathe reality so bingeing vomiting restricting h2o selfharm lax exercise alcohol all serve as anaesthetics.

Sorry, gloomy mood.

Hugs.
Perhaps talking on here might help you work through a few thoughts.
X

 
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