I'm a guy with a possible eating disorder...
I don't feel embarassed, but, I know I have a problem.
As a kid, I was always very thin. Too thin. I didn't eat much, but I also didn't have an eating disorder. Parents were always trying to get me to bulk up. As a teenager, when I was 13, I got addicted to an online game which I still play to this game, and am still addicted to. I gained alot of weight from it. Due to my aspergers, and the game, I missed out on high school. I would sit by the girls in high school because no one would sit with me. and i felt they understood more than anyone. I never had a girlfriend, or even kissed a girl. I missed out on my whole teenage years. I'm now 23. I blamed not getting a girlfriend for my weight. That must've been it. I was severely obese, with a BMI of almost 40. My waist size was 48. But, I lost 95 lbs for 2 reasons. Because I was tired of the fat, and I felt it was the only way I would become liked.
I managed to lose alot of weight (I was almost morbidly obese), and get into a low body fat (More about that later), and yet, it's not enough. Its become a full blown obsession.
. I eat very healthy, excerise hard, lift weights hard, and put myself in a slight calorie deficient. I still have high blood pressure and take meds for it, and severe chronic fatique, both which are probably from stress and anxiety.
My dad told me one time when I was obese to put my shirt on when we were in our garage working, because it was embarassing. Another forum told me to keep it "PG". (Because I can't post pictures without a shirt..)I don't understand this. From that point on, it confirmed my believes and the whole thing made me extremely uncomfortable, especially wearing tank tops around women, or people I know. Extremely hard, despite hard efforts to counter it.
You see, I logged my progress in a weight loss forum. Pictures at every step, so it felt natural to me. I don't understand it very much .Whenever I feel down I go back there for motivation. It helps me. It also helps confirms my believes that I do look good, but also makes me want to look better.
Today I pretty much had a break down. Several people were telling me, "You're not at 7% body fat yet like your body fat says, after all, they are horribly inaccurate. If you were, you'd have a six pack." And I don't. I have loose skin. Not a whole bunch, but some. I don't think that's an excuse. I need to lose more fat.
According to my omron 306B BIA device (It uses an electriical signal to measure the amount of water in your body to measure muscle) I am at around 9-10% bodyfat. And I don't believe that either. It's wrong. I used to be at 28.8% bodyfat. Morbid obesity starts at 30% I believe.
I am getting a underwater weighting test in 2 days, we'lll see if its correct. Even my neurologist doctor said, "You're not at 7% bodyfat, that's impossible." He said they had a huge margin of error, like 10%, so I'm probably closer to 17%. If I'm any more than 10 percent, I will everything I can to keep losing Because my dream was to have defined abs...and I don't have them yet. Obviously not quite there yet.
During my weight loss, I hit a pleatau for 6 months. I had to change my eating completely, then lose some. Then hit another wall. So I started doing HIIT, and got out of it got to where I currently am.
I do have some extra muscle mass from perserving muscle while losing the weight by lifting.
Thank you so much if you read this.
Last edited by SparkErosion; 06-24-2011 at 08:13 AM.