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Old 06-27-2011, 04:37 PM   #1
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PinstripedBabe HB User
It's been a while!

Hi everyone! It's been quite a while since I've been on these boards...

Quick background I guess...Developed full blown anorexia at age 13 and went into recovery at 15. Spent ages 15-17 in both physical and mental recovery. By 17, I was a healthy weight and mentally stable enough to have a life. I'll be 20 years old in 2 weeks (July 12!!) and I really have to say I've come such a long way. I love life. I have friends. I do things other than count calories and exercise. I have my days of course, even weeks I'll admit, where I lose myself a little but it never gets to the point of a full blown relapse. I'm at a more than healthy weight.

But

I guess I stumbled on here because in a weird kind of way, there's a part of me that WANTS to relapse. I miss being super super skinny. When I look at other girls who are super super skinny, I get jealous because I feel like they have this comfort. I want that comfort back.

but I know how bad it made me feel at the same time. Ugh. I hate feeling like this...

 
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Old 06-28-2011, 06:51 AM   #2
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Re: It's been a while!

Quote:
Originally Posted by PinstripedBabe View Post
When I look at other girls who are super super skinny, I get jealous because I feel like they have this comfort. I want that comfort back.

but I know how bad it made me feel at the same time. Ugh. I hate feeling like this...
Hello P,

That "comfort" as you put it,lies in a false sense of security.

Remember that comfort is manifested in the way you feel,not the way you look.

Think about all the misery associated with the quest for being extremely thin.

Society attempts to persuede us into thinking that we must have this or must be that in order to fit in.

Know that you are an individual and it's the fact that you are who you are that makes you unique.

It may be "cool" to fit in but at what cost?

Food for thought.

Respectfully stated,
Phoenix
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When in doubt, post it out.

Last edited by Phoenix; 06-28-2011 at 05:39 PM.

 
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Old 06-28-2011, 05:11 PM   #3
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PinstripedBabe HB User
Re: It's been a while!

Thank you for your response! I tend to forget the misery associated with anorexia. I need to keep reminding myself that I'm a beutiful person inside and out...
Hope you're doing well as well! Stay strong.

 
Old 06-30-2011, 11:21 PM   #4
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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auntdew HB User
Re: It's been a while!

Hold in there girl.

It's great that you are loving life, and you don't want to lose that.

Surround yourself with people who make you feel good and have a positive outlook on life.
When you start feeling like relapsing, do you have a friend to turn to?
Not necessarily to talk about your thought of relapsing with, but someone who you can just say "I'm feeling down, want to do something together?"

We all feel down at times, which is why we need to find others to help pull us up again.

Best of luck for your future.

 
Old 07-20-2011, 08:20 PM   #5
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PinkyTofu HB User
Lightbulb Re: It's been a while!

Quote:
Originally Posted by PinstripedBabe View Post
Hi everyone! It's been quite a while since I've been on these boards...

Quick background I guess...Developed full blown anorexia at age 13 and went into recovery at 15. Spent ages 15-17 in both physical and mental recovery. By 17, I was a healthy weight and mentally stable enough to have a life. I'll be 20 years old in 2 weeks (July 12!!) and I really have to say I've come such a long way. I love life. I have friends. I do things other than count calories and exercise. I have my days of course, even weeks I'll admit, where I lose myself a little but it never gets to the point of a full blown relapse. I'm at a more than healthy weight.

But

I guess I stumbled on here because in a weird kind of way, there's a part of me that WANTS to relapse. I miss being super super skinny. When I look at other girls who are super super skinny, I get jealous because I feel like they have this comfort. I want that comfort back.

but I know how bad it made me feel at the same time. Ugh. I hate feeling like this...
Hey PinstripedBabe! We are in the same path are we? I had an eating disorder when I was 12 & fully recovered myself at 13. I'm 17 now. I read some of your past posts about growth being stunted... that was almost 5 years ago when you wrote that. So after recovering from anorexia, were you able to grow normally and go into puberty? I haven't grew since I had anorexia , and I'm starting to get worried. I'd like to know your experience throughout your eating disorder about any changes. Will I be able to grow 2 inches? I'd like to reach my maximum height. Thanks! I wish you good luck in life

 
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