Also wanted to say that crying for 3 days is just terrible. You deserve to get help.
A couple weeks before I finally went to the doctor, I had lost my voice because I had taken the car for a ride so I could scream on my own. Losing my voice was a physical sign that I had to act. Maybe this is yours?
Please accept a virtual hug
Hi
I feel for you. Nowadays there are so many women with bulimia (some men too) that I wouldn't bother feeling ashamed.It's not easy i know. Personally I don't make my bulimia public! But I have told the doctor & you might want to get a counsellor// go to O.A (it's free). I think you will at least feel better telling someone. Please don't suffer in complete silence. You deserve more !!!
I definitely will ask for help. I wish in Italy there was something like o.a.... here to to get public (and thus cheap) health or psycological treatment you have to wait for... MONTHS!
I will contact someone next week... an association present all over Italy specialized in ED. ( hoping it will not be too expensive)
I am kind of scared of the duration of the psycological treatment... here in Italy CBT applied to ED is something relatively new...and I would not want to go through 8 years of therapy...
i stopped crying :-).... could that be also due to the fact that i quit somoking ??
Are you sure there isn't overeaters anonymous in you area in Italy?(it's for obese people and bulimics etc.) It exists in Spain. It is a form of support that's free Therapy is very expensive. I did it when I had money. It did help but I gave it up because it started to interfere with my social life etc. So then it became counterproductive I could do therapy but had no money to do ANYTHING else- no life outside therapy.
Actually I found that therapists could help you with feelings etc. but they have no clue about the bulimic illness at all.
Anyway good luck.
Last edited by moderator2; 09-08-2012 at 02:32 PM.
Reason: posted disallowed website
I suppose there are many reasons people are bulimic. Sometime I wonder if most of the medical research, by focusing on young people, ignores the "motivation" for the oldies.
I remember being told that bulimics usually binge because they have starved themselves of caRbohydrates during the day and then have this uncontrollable hunger that turns into a binge. Am not saying that may not be true of most people but I do not believe it applies to me. Or at least no longer.
Remember being told that bulimics tend to have misconception of how fat they look and b/p to become thinner. Again that may have been the case when I was younger but not anymore. I have a Bmi of 23 and am quite fit. In fact I think I look pretty good for my age!
I keep on coming back to thinking it is a very, very deeply ingrained habit for me. One that has been very successful in allowing me to cope with strong emotions when they hit me. Maybe that is why Prozac seems to be working as I do not have such strong impulses now. And yet it does not seem to have robbed me of my personality. In a strange way I feel more true to myself and the world also seems more real. Before I felt a sort of is disassociation from the world outside me. Now I feel more implicated in it.
It raises some very interesting philosophical question of what is the "me"? Just a series of synapses affected/driven by serotonin?
I suppose there are many reasons people are bulimic. Sometime I wonder if most of the medical research, by focusing on young people, ignores the "motivation" for the oldies.
I remember being told that bulimics usually binge because they have starved themselves of caRbohydrates during the day and then have this uncontrollable hunger that turns into a binge. Am not saying that may not be true of most people but I do not believe it applies to me. Or at least no longer.
Remember being told that bulimics tend to have misconception of how fat they look and b/p to become thinner. Again that may have been the case when I was younger but not anymore. I have a Bmi of 23 and am quite fit. In fact I think I look pretty good for my age!
I keep on coming back to thinking it is a very, very deeply ingrained habit for me. One that has been very successful in allowing me to cope with strong emotions when they hit me. Maybe that is why Prozac seems to be working as I do not have such strong impulses now. And yet it does not seem to have robbed me of my personality. In a strange way I feel more true to myself and the world also seems more real. Before I felt a sort of is disassociation from the world outside me. Now I feel more implicated in it.
It raises some very interesting philosophical question of what is the "me"? Just a series of synapses affected/driven by serotonin?
I think bulimia is "only" a matter of coping with feelings.
I've been strongly bulimic for many years, than I quit purging, than began again but not every day as I used to be when I was in my twenties. I've been off purging for long periods as well, but always kept an "attitude" typical of bulimics, especially in relationships
I must also say that it is one month that I quit smoking and it is since then that I (not very day) keep an eye on kcalories...it was something I did not do anymore. I mean that I read on the food boxes how much Kcalories food has.
I am kind of afraid of gaining 10 kgs bacause I quitted smoking. I also began running again in order 1) to stay away from fags 2) to keep weight under control because I am eating more than what I used to do when I smoked. Am I becoming obsessed again with food/weight?
Cartouche, I know Prozac can be of great help. If it works with you, well, FANTASTIC!
I too feel dissociated with the rest of the world...it is as if my life is amovie which I am only watching, passively instead of being the leading actress!!
I am tired of this... I am also thinking of quitting my work for one year to find myself and understand who I am, what I want. I've still got conflicts to solve with my family: they are a consequence of "news"I only learned of recently, in August (because no body bothered to inform me before)...behaviors my mother had with my brother and dad (they are divorced) nobody ever told me anything about which are very difficult to accept...and metabolize, especilayy because coming from a mother
Cartouche, bulimia can be due to the fact that someone starves for many days and consequently after some time has to binge...the story of the carbo does not work for me either: I am Italian and eat lots of bread and pasta (which keeps the seratonin up) and I binge anyways :-)
I think everyone has its own individual reasons to be ill and this is why why some therapies can work for some and not for others etc etc
Hi again
'No clue'I mean, I think, that therapists often don't know much about the disease - bulimia. They know the psychological side and doctors can give you antidepressants etc. to help you cope. However, the only people who really know about it are the people suffering themselves. I am not cured but it's a lot better than 20 years ago as i binge only 2/3 times a week which is better than 6 times a day! Other bulimics ahve given me tips on how to get better etc.
I have to say this is my point of you and there are probably other ideas of how to get better. GOOD LUCK!
Ludovica
I loved your movie analogy. I mentioned it to my husband and he had no idea what I was talking about. He just said "weird"!
I am really enjoying these conversations. Finally I feel someone understand what I meant. I used to describe the world as being made of these facades used to represent street in cowboy movies. Beautiful facades with nothing behind them. I remember telling myself, or rather trying to convince myself, that real lives were being lived in these houses.
I thought everyone perhaps felt that way! Did not realize it was not the norm. I stopped smoking 10 years ago and still feel the urge now and then although it gets less intense. It is a very hard thing to do and you should. R proud of yourself. I am trying to do about half hour of exercise everyday to get these feel good hormones....messes with my hair though!
I Dmire people who strive to be true to themselves and hope that everyday brings me closer to that. Strange, I have no idea where that last sentence came from.
I think this is bulimia: NOT living our lives but just watching them passively, afraid of the pain that binging and purging mitigates
Imagine a cat been chased by a dog and therefore climbing on a tree. The cat stays up there, just WATCHING the world, afraid to come down...and after a while the dog (and the world) just forgets he is still on the tree. This is, to me, the meaning of ED.
I am tired of "pretending" to be living my life.
I am happy to have found this forum. I never found something similar in Italy's...internet. This disorder is not "considered" like it is in the US. It is still seen as "uncomfortable", not too many websites on the argument.
What about you dogcity, do you also get this feelIng of pretending to live your life? Does anybody else reading this forum?
I find it fascinating and I only hope ED experts are studying this angle? Does anybody know of any literature written about what ludovica describes? I feel it touches something important.
Hi again
'No clue'I mean, I think, that therapists often don't know much about the disease - bulimia. They know the psychological side and doctors can give you antidepressants etc. to help you cope. However, the only people who really know about it are the people suffering themselves. I am not cured but it's a lot better than 20 years ago as i binge only 2/3 times a week which is better than 6 times a day! Other bulimics ahve given me tips on how to get better etc.
I have to say this is my point of you and there are probably other ideas of how to get better. GOOD LUCK!
it is the second time I read a similar thought today... An italian girl refuses treatment for this reason, she had very negative experience with doctors
it is kind of scary now that I decided to seek for therapeutical help..plus here in Italy it is very easy to meet incompetent doctors... theoretically Italian doctors are very good, but in practice I know the truth is just the opposite
What about you dogcity, do you also get this feelIng of pretending to live your life? Does anybody else reading this forum?
I find it fascinating and I only hope ED experts are studying this angle? Does anybody know of any literature written about what ludovica describes? I feel it touches something important.
Cartouche, you never read anything on Ed? self aid books or similar? .(excuse my English, I hope my "tone" will never sound tactless)
Hi
I know I don't feel free. I think that may be true about people with any addiction. Basically I think we are all the same just using different types of drugs. Insecure, worried, hate ourselves, have difficulty dealing with people and life etc. There is practical help from self help books but also a few of sites dealing with bulimia/anorexia recovery on the web. Just type in bulimia and see what comes up! I personally have found this very useful.
I hope you all find what you need. Take care.
How are you doing? Me, I have not binged or purged since beg July though I've noticed I am overheating at times again. I also think of binging every now and then but the though of vomiting seems so violent. Did not bother me for 35 years but now seems a very unkind thing to do to myself. Still have not made appointment with therapist...."lost" the phone number!
Well done. I have purged once or twice a week only - a very small amount of sick. IT'S BEEN LIKE THAT FOR YEARS! Hang in there and go see a therapist if you feel it will help. i just go on line. It's enough for me and works quite well for me as I can do it 24 hours a day-it's especially useful if I get the urge to vomit. Done therapy and it did help but don't feel it can help 'me' anymore. I know the hisory of my upbringing and how it aqffected me emotionally. So now I just deal with the practical side and In the future I hop to stop this crazy vomiting thing permanently.
Still here. Doing quite well. Still on Prozac! Still not in therapy. Not thrown up for 3 months now....all time record in 35 years. Did a reiki session which I had never tried...and don't really 'believe' in it..and loved it. Made me feel somewhat more 'me'.
How are ou ludovica? (or anyone else?)
?? 
