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Old 07-25-2011, 05:37 PM   #1
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Recovering Anorexic Girlfriend

I have been dating my girlfriend for three months now. She suffered severely from anorexia when she was in high school. We have sat down and talked about it numerous times and I have done some research as well. I understand that this may never go away completely. It may stay dormant and then relapse at any given time. Yet, I refuse to let it break us apart. I have never ever felt like this about any other girl in my life. Along with being anorexic, she is very controlling, which she has explained is connected. She feels that the anorexia allows her to have control over something in her life. She is the most ambitious person I know and she feels like when she falls in love its debilitating. Thus when she is involved in serious relationships she relapses. The anorexia almost causes her to have a duel personality. When she relapses, she twists words that I say to make it seem like I am putting her down and that I am inadequate. I feel helpless when this happens because anything that I say is used against me. I love this girl more than anything in the world and am completely ready and willing to go through the rough times that may come. I was wondering if anyone would be willing to give me any advice from experiences? Thank you!

 
Old 07-29-2011, 07:49 AM   #2
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Re: Recovering Anorexic Girlfriend

Hello ASDF1234,

It is true that an ED can lay dormant and then resurface but remember there are always exceptions to the rule.

Your refusal to let this disorder get in between the two of you is admirable but regretfully is inevitable.

Her desire for control is a coping mechanism that most definitely will test the boundaries of any meaningful relationship.

Emotions and eating disorders go hand in hand and the more intense the feelings,without preventative measures set in place,the greater the likelihood of a recurrance of symptoms.

Is she seeing a therapist about her ED tendencies?

I hope that your answer is yes because this is something that cannot be remedied with loving support alone.

The fact that she showed a causal relationship between relationships and relapse mode is cause for concern.

Try asking her what her intentions going forward are,with respect to her ED but in a kind and compassionate way.

Respectfully
Phoenix
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Old 08-17-2011, 10:12 PM   #3
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Re: Recovering Anorexic Girlfriend

Quote:
Originally Posted by ASDF1234 View Post
I have been dating my girlfriend for three months now. She suffered severely from anorexia when she was in high school. We have sat down and talked about it numerous times and I have done some research as well. I understand that this may never go away completely. It may stay dormant and then relapse at any given time. Yet, I refuse to let it break us apart. I have never ever felt like this about any other girl in my life. Along with being anorexic, she is very controlling, which she has explained is connected. She feels that the anorexia allows her to have control over something in her life. She is the most ambitious person I know and she feels like when she falls in love its debilitating. Thus when she is involved in serious relationships she relapses. The anorexia almost causes her to have a duel personality. When she relapses, she twists words that I say to make it seem like I am putting her down and that I am inadequate. I feel helpless when this happens because anything that I say is used against me. I love this girl more than anything in the world and am completely ready and willing to go through the rough times that may come. I was wondering if anyone would be willing to give me any advice from experiences? Thank you!
3 years ago I was hospitalized with Anorexia Nervosa, but I also struggled with bulimia. And having an eating disorder is something i will always struggle with. I got the help I needed. I have relapsed before but not to the point where I would end up back in the hospital, Your girlfriend has control issues, as Do I, and all of the people with eating disorders. She will always struggle with this. Just give her time and support, theres really nothing more you can do.
Respectfully, Shelby.

 
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