Ok, so recently, every bite of junk food that went into my body, i felt so guilty. usually i could just eat it like it was nothing, but each day i've been feeling more and more guiltier. (is that spelled right ? oh well) well today, i went to a restaurant and ate a ton of food. i felt sick i ate so much. when i got home, a few hours later, i was still pretty full, but i was craving the leftovers. i ate some and felt terrible. i NEVER in a million years would EVER even think about doing this, but today i was desperate. it has been building up, but i just felt so fat and hopeless. i went into the bathroom, and started to gag myself. i tried so hard to make myself throw up. i think i spent like 10 minutes in the bathroom trying my hardest. like i tried and tried but i failed. i looked up how to throw up and turns out i was doing it wrong (yah ik im stupid) so i tried again, and came so close, but gave up. i just felt so pathetic. i didnt make myself throw up, but if i actually knew how to when i tried, i would've actually made my self throw up. does this mean that i'm bulimic? please help.
It seems that you have binge eating disorder,where you consume meals and feel guilty afterwards.It's almost feel like an obsession.
You really don't want to have bulimia;bingeing and purging cycles.
Trust me on this one.
Are you seeing a therapist or at the very least nutritionist about this?
No, I am not currently seeing anyone about this, but because i felt so horrible about this, today I started a food diary. I now count all my calories and try not to eat too much. I threw away the rest of my snacks that I have at home. I always eat way too much than I should but I really want to change that. I know it's going to be hard, but I hope I can do it. I went less than 300 calories over how much I should be consuming in one day and so far, it's a start. I only went over because I had ice cream for dessert. Prob my last ice cream of the year.
I threw away the rest of my snacks that I have at home. I always eat way too much than I should but I really want to change that.I know it's going to be hard, but I hope I can do it. I went less than 300 calories over how much I should be consuming in one day and so far, it's a start. I only went over because I had ice cream for dessert. Prob my last ice cream of the year.
Throwing away snacks sounds like you're seriously off to a great start. That shows a real commitment to change and sets a good example for others. Keep up the good work.
No one can be diagnosed with an eating disorder through one instance or one acute cluster of instances. Eating disorders are chronic patterns of behavior that have deep-seeded emotional and cognitive roots. Bulimia, contrary to popular belief, is not that one vomits after eating too much. Bulimia is repetitively purging what one eats (vomiting or otherwise) as a guilt response to bingeing...which is classified as the intentional consumption of extremely high amounts of food volume and calories in an uncontrolled fashion... like a drug addict seeking for their substance and not being able to help themselves.
Bulimics will eat up to 10,000 calories or more in a day, shoving whatever they can into their mouth knowing even before they keep eating it that they don't need or want it but can't help it.
Eating too much and feeling too full and then attempting to vomit is not an eating disorder in and of itself. The psychological reasons behind what you did and felt and how you chose to handle it, along with whether or not this type of behavior becomes repetitive for you, will determine whether you may have an eating disorder.
PLEASE, if I were you I would be so thankful to have begun identifying this problem before it turned into a full-fledged disease and take this opportunity of introspection and awareness as a motivator to go see a therapist and help yourself before things get too out of control that you can't.
Whether or not you would benefit from losing weight does not matter in a case like this, as even if you are overweight (and I don't know if you are or not), it is important to do so in ways which are healthy both physically and mentally, and I think a therapist could definitely help you with figuring out how you can define this for yourself as well as some of the reasons as to why your relationship with junk food is so upsetting to you emotionally.
I hope this helped!! Please ask for all the help you need, I am here for you!