I was always a tomboy growing up. Up until about 7th grade I wore boy jeans, an oversized t-shirt (you know, with pictures of bugs on them or airplanes, etc.) and my hair in a ponytail. All the girls were getting into makeup and boys and I just couldn't wait to go home and play outside.
I was never overweight and I never have been. I have always been tall and thin. I am 5'9 and have never weighed over 125. Shortly after turning 13 (also getting my period, so I started developing an actual figure) I moved out of my moms house and in with my grandma because of some issues. I went from a big city to a small town school that I still don't even like to think about to this day. I remember my first day very clearly (went shopping for "girl" clothes prior to this lol). I wore a fitted pink shirt and faded girl jeans with rhinestones on the back pockets. I wore my hair down and naturally wavy. The bus picked me up and it was hell from then on. I will never forget how awful girls at that school were. Here I am 20 years old and I STILL can't forget how they tormented me. I still don't even know why. I left that place within six months and moved in with my other grandparents (I loved my new school).
All of this started when I moved in with them. I remember it was my first dance (8th grade) and I was going with a group of friends. My grandma took me to get a dress. I tried on the most beautiful dress. I remember walking out of the dressing room to see her shaking her head saying "you are sure starting to get curvy." I didn't even know what that meant when I was 14!! I never looked at myself in the mirror for an extended period of time to point out flaws because at 14 that's not usually a top priority...
It became a top priority for me though
I went home that night and looked in the mirror and gues what I saw. Big thighs, wide flabby hips, a flabby stomach and nothing was proportioned correctly. I just stood there and cried.
I would say that from about 14-16 it wasn't severe anorexia, it was more EDNOS. It escalated when I turned 16. I don't really need to go into that because all of you know what that is like. I think are many other reasons for my eating disorder as well. There are so many things that I think influence my disorder. For example, I am going through an extremely stressful time and the force of this stress is spiraling out of my control. Whenever I don't have control of my life my ED gets really really bad. Also, I don't have hardly any friends here and I go to a private college. None of the girls talk to each other because all of them are just too good and too perfect for each other. Sooo I am alone a lot.
Oh and I am positive that my family plays a huge role in it. See in my family, the love is very conditional. They only love me if I am doing what they want me to do the way they want me to do it. You know what I say about that?? Go F yourselves people. The only time they are ever interested in hearing about my life is if I have screwed up in some way.
There are a freaking lot of reasons lol. I hope I don't think of any more. Wouldn't want to bore you all with another novel**
__________________
-Nicole-
Last edited by Administrator; 11-23-2011 at 12:02 AM.
Its sad that your family arent as supportive of you as they should be. Its hard for loved ones to understand what you are going through when you suffer an ED, and i know that its frustrating and upsetting for them too, but i don't know what its like to not have anyone around me so I really feel for you. It sounds like your grandparents are amazing though.
Your story is a lot similar to mine actually. My eating disorder is EDNOS and i got diagnosed with it about two years ago. I used to get a lot of comments about my curvy figure aswell. So i know how that feels too.
I completly feel for you because its so hard to be so sensitive at a young age (i think every girl is to be honest) and to go to school and get picked on because of your changing body. I feel for you even more because you not only went to school and got this but you changed schools three times. That must have been tough and well done you for getting through it.
Im always here if you need a chat.
I think it helps that we both had/have EDNOS and can relate.
How is your ED now? Are you coping okay?
xx
Last edited by Administrator; 11-23-2011 at 12:04 AM.
I was always a tomboy growing up. Up until about 7th grade I wore boy jeans, an oversized t-shirt (you know, with pictures of bugs on them or airplanes, etc.) and my hair in a ponytail. All the girls were getting into makeup and boys and I just couldn't wait to go home and play outside.
I was never overweight and I never have been. I have always been tall and thin. I am 5'9 and have never weighed over 125. Shortly after turning 13 (also getting my period, so I started developing an actual figure) I moved out of my moms house and in with my grandma because of some issues. I went from a big city to a small town school that I still don't even like to think about to this day. I remember my first day very clearly (went shopping for "girl" clothes prior to this lol). I wore a fitted pink shirt and faded girl jeans with rhinestones on the back pockets. I wore my hair down and naturally wavy. The bus picked me up and it was hell from then on. I will never forget how awful girls at that school were. Here I am 20 years old and I STILL can't forget how they tormented me. I still don't even know why. I left that place within six months and moved in with my other grandparents (I loved my new school).
All of this started when I moved in with them. I remember it was my first dance (8th grade) and I was going with a group of friends. My grandma took me to get a dress. I tried on the most beautiful dress. I remember walking out of the dressing room to see her shaking her head saying "you are sure starting to get curvy." I didn't even know what that meant when I was 14!! I never looked at myself in the mirror for an extended period of time to point out flaws because at 14 that's not usually a top priority...
It became a top priority for me though
I went home that night and looked in the mirror and gues what I saw. Big thighs, wide flabby hips, a flabby stomach and nothing was proportioned correctly. I just stood there and cried.
I would say that from about 14-16 it wasn't severe anorexia, it was more EDNOS. It escalated when I turned 16. I don't really need to go into that because all of you know what that is like. I think are many other reasons for my eating disorder as well. There are so many things that I think influence my disorder. For example, I am going through an extremely stressful time and the force of this stress is spiraling out of my control. Whenever I don't have control of my life my ED gets really really bad. Also, I don't have hardly any friends here and I go to a private college. None of the girls talk to each other because all of them are just too good and too perfect for each other. Sooo I am alone a lot.
Oh and I am positive that my family plays a huge role in it. See in my family, the love is very conditional. They only love me if I am doing what they want me to do the way they want me to do it. You know what I say about that?? Go F yourselves people. The only time they are ever interested in hearing about my life is if I have screwed up in some way.
There are a freaking lot of reasons lol. I hope I don't think of any more. Wouldn't want to bore you all with another novel**
I didnt think i did anything wrong in my last reply, I thought the whole point in these message boards was to chat and relate to eachother but obviously not.! Sorry if i babbled on too much. Hope your okay. Always here if you need a chat.
