It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 05-18-2012, 08:35 PM   #1
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: chandler, oklahoma, usa
Posts: 1
jrule HB User
bulemic girlfriend please help

So my girlfriend of almost 2 years has been bulemic since she was 12 years old. She is now almost 21 and the doctors have said if she does not stop she will not make it to 25. So here it goes. She lives with me now. We eat and when we lay down to go to bed or sometimes almost immediately after she goes to the bathroom to purge. I need advice on how to help her. Her family has said if she doesn't get better within a month they are sending her away. I tell her she is beautiful and perfect everyday but she calls me crazy. My family and friends tell her how pretty she is and compliment her almost daily and yet she calls them crazy too. This is my last hope on how to help her get better. She absolutely will not Tonto a therepist again. She is convinced they don't help. As common with bulimia she looks at pictures of other girls on Facebook and never stops talking about how pretty they are or how she wants tonlook like them. And I tell her she is prettier everytime. She has tried a million diets. She has puffy cheeks, spits up or throws up blood, her teeth are brittle and breaak. She is average weight. Please help me help her. She means the world to me.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 05-19-2012, 03:30 AM   #2
Facilitator
(male)
 
Phoenix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 3,861
Blog Entries: 33
Phoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB User
Re: bulemic girlfriend please help

Hello jrule,

Try to be as supportive as you can.

Is she experiencing stressful issues;outside of the norm)?

You can try having a heart-to-heart talk with her;laying it all on the line.
Explain to her how you feel but try not to focus on specifics,as she may easily retreat.

Is she in therapy?
If not,she would most likely benefit from seeing one.

Respectfully
Phoenix
__________________
When in doubt, post it out.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 05-21-2012, 07:40 PM   #3
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 183
aileb HB Useraileb HB Useraileb HB Useraileb HB User
Re: bulimic girlfriend please help

Hi,
I am in recovery from anorexia and bulimia. Eating disorders distort the way we see ourselves and they aren't based on logic. We literally can not see what others see. And when people say that we are thin and pretty etc.. -that only makes us feel worse because we can't see it.

We can't see it and that makes us angry! The anger turns into self-hate (self-harm= bulimia) because you can see it, her family can see it, other people can see it -but she can't.


Also, please stop telling her that she is perfect.


Because when she goes to treatment she is more than likely going to feel like she has gained weight. You told her she was perfect looking before she went into treatment (before she gained weight). In her mind, she will be farther from perfect when she gains the weight. Will she still be perfect then too.


My advise is to stop compliments that are based on physical beauty. Banish the word perfect from your vocabulary.

In treatment, we learn that we don't have to be perfect. Our recovery isn't going to be perfect either.

I think it's really great that you are supporting her. Please do not stall getting her into treatment. Full recovery at home is very rare. Her recovery will not be just about stopping her behaviors--that's just the beginning.


Bulimia is her identity. It's her safety blanket--her coping mechanism. Separating her from her ED thoughts and behaviors is going to be an agonizing process. Full recovery can take anywhere from 5-10 years and some people never fully recover.

While she is away, it will also be a good idea for you to seek counseling. Recovery isn't a straight path. There are going to be lots of setbacks and things will get even more emotional.

Also, read as many books as you can on eating disorder recovery so that you can improve your communication and join support forums that are geared for family and partners of people with eds.



hugs

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Bullimia and my Girlfriend daniel3 Eating Disorder Recovery 3 07-02-2008 06:05 AM
Having an anorexic girlfriend - my story KH87 Eating Disorder Recovery 2 12-27-2007 02:04 PM
Concerned about girlfriend aichdee Eating Disorder Recovery 3 02-18-2007 12:41 PM
I caught my girlfriend inducing vomiting Duder929 Eating Disorder Recovery 4 11-21-2006 04:39 AM
Bulemic - don't know how to stop overeating and purging - please HELP! Slamber1978 Eating Disorder Recovery 2 06-15-2004 12:04 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:41 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!