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Old 07-08-2012, 06:20 PM   #1
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abcabq HB User
one year purge-free

hi all,

tomorrow i will be exactly one year purge free. it has been quite hard to stay on track, but i'm really proud of myself. i'd been bulimic for 7-8 years before, and attempted recovery many times (my longest time before this was almost 6 months). i'm really excited about this milestone, but i'm not sure how to commemorate it.

part of the problem is my family and friends do not know. in fact, i have not been in a recovery program since my mother first found out (and that was when it first started roughly 7 years ago). when she found out, she took me to therapy and left it at that. i'm not blaming her for anything--i'm very private and do not like talking about my problems. so i think my family assumed i recovered once i went through therapy etc. (of course, they may have known and not said anything.) anyway, no one knows that i'm one year purge free, so i'm not sure how to celebrate. i really don't want to tell anyone (perhaps that's why i turned to a messageboard--it's easier when i'm "anonymous"). i was thinking of getting a necklace or something to remind me of the progress i've made, but for some reason that doesn't feel "big" enough. any ideas/advice/input would be greatly appreciated.

also, just wondering if anyone has successfully "recovered" without doing a program? i haven't done any counseling or anything this time around. i know many of the root issues are there, and i still struggle with the ED mindset. i'm just really adverse to therapy (for myself).

 
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Old 07-10-2012, 07:33 PM   #2
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Re: one year purge-free

Hello abcabq

Congrats on your one year anniversary;I know it wasn't easy doing it;especially without conventional support methods.

Getting a necklace is wonderful but you've also heard of Murphy's Law.
You celebrate it;you go girl but also put things in its proper perspective.
Realize that you are one of the lucky ones because the percentages against success were stacked up against you exponentially.
I've been there and have been grateful.
Unfortunately I was in a motor vehicle accident,which brought everything spiraling back;even worse than before;a perfect storm,if you will.

You concern me when you say that many of the root issues are still there.
Know we're here for support and advice and a few real life stories.
I'm going to congratulate you today and say party;you did it!

Now when the next day comes,and you're working on going forward,know we'll be here for you;welcome to the family.

There will be plenty of time to talk.

Get your chain and keep it as a reminder that you did it because there will be times where you'll need to hold onto that and remember the struggle you just went through.

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abcabq (07-30-2012)
Old 07-30-2012, 07:55 PM   #3
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Re: one year purge-free

Phoenix,

Thank you so much for your kind reply. Everything has been kind of crazy since I hit that one year mark, and I didn't get a chance to check the message board. But logging on and seeing your thoughtful response was really touching. And quite true...while I haven't purged, I've come incredibly close and haven't been even nearly healthy. Your advice about Murphy's Law has definitely rung true.

The instability in my life as of late, as well as your advice, has made me realize I do need support in this. You will definitely see me on here more, and I'm hoping to work my way up to different kinds of support.

I just want to say thank you again. Just looking at other posts on here I've seen what a great source of support you are for everyone. I hope that one day I can return the favor. I'm so sorry to hear that you are struggling. I hope you can find that peace you once had. You deserve to be happy and healthy.

All the best,
abcabq

 
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Old 08-16-2012, 12:06 PM   #4
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Re: one year purge-free

You are so incredibly strong! I got so close to that one year mark and thought I was okay but when college ended and I was away from the close friends I started getting anxious again and after getting through it a few times I eventually gave in and purged. I purged a few times those next few weeks and then realized what I was doing to myself and everything I had worked towards and I have been okay now for a few months since I started working. I was let go from my job last week due to a lack of work since it slowed down and now I feel all the anxieties coming back again. How did you do so well? Any advice to help me when it gets tempting? I wish it would just go away and I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore, I still have a hard time eating in front of people anf it sucks when you are hanging out with friends. Hope you really did something special! you deserve it! Also...I too am going at this alone and my friends and school counselors all think i've been okay for over a year since that was the only way I could stay in college.

 
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Old 08-16-2012, 12:21 PM   #5
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Re: one year purge-free

Congratultions on a great achievement you have every right to feel proud.
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Old 08-18-2012, 08:04 PM   #6
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Re: one year purge-free

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Last edited by passingmelodies; 08-18-2012 at 08:09 PM. Reason: accidental re-post

 
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Old 08-18-2012, 08:06 PM   #7
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Re: one year purge-free

Hey, nice job! I'm also "recovering," if you will...I am sort of in the midst of recovering from a short bout of anorexia (four months).

Hang in there! Like Pheonix said, we're all here for you. Get that necklace...Here's an idea too. For every year/half-year/month/however you like that you stay clean, you could get a new charm and put it on the necklace. Wear the necklace every single day. It will serve as your reminder that you are strong and will continue being strong. And every milestone, you can celebrate in addition to adding to your necklace. Just think...one day you'll have more charms than room on the necklace! XD

-Melody

 
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Old 08-21-2012, 06:17 PM   #8
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miss345 HB User
Re: one year purge-free

Quote:
Originally Posted by abcabq View Post
hi all,

tomorrow i will be exactly one year purge free. it has been quite hard to stay on track, but i'm really proud of myself. i'd been bulimic for 7-8 years before, and attempted recovery many times (my longest time before this was almost 6 months). i'm really excited about this milestone, but i'm not sure how to commemorate it.

part of the problem is my family and friends do not know. in fact, i have not been in a recovery program since my mother first found out (and that was when it first started roughly 7 years ago). when she found out, she took me to therapy and left it at that. i'm not blaming her for anything--i'm very private and do not like talking about my problems. so i think my family assumed i recovered once i went through therapy etc. (of course, they may have known and not said anything.) anyway, no one knows that i'm one year purge free, so i'm not sure how to celebrate. i really don't want to tell anyone (perhaps that's why i turned to a messageboard--it's easier when i'm "anonymous"). i was thinking of getting a necklace or something to remind me of the progress i've made, but for some reason that doesn't feel "big" enough. any ideas/advice/input would be greatly appreciated.

also, just wondering if anyone has successfully "recovered" without doing a program? i haven't done any counseling or anything this time around. i know many of the root issues are there, and i still struggle with the ED mindset. i'm just really adverse to therapy (for myself).
Good for you...I'm not sure about a celebration as each day will continue to be a struggle for years to come...As for me, I have now celebrated nine years being purge free...and no, I did not go with a program....With me it was using food as a comfort...Stress ruled my life plus having a Mother that believed that being thin was the only way that a person could be beautiful...Sometimes I cringe at what these poor beauty pageant children must go through...They stress beauty and I was stressed being fat...

I think a great idea is for you to speak to people...Come on to a site like this (which I think is pretty awesome) and help people...Tell them of your struggle..Constantly remind yourself of what you have done and that you are still a baby in the recovery process of life...I look at over confidence as a killer and humility as my best friend...I mean I am proud of myself for accomplishing this, but sad that it ever started....

For me this went on for many years....My husband knew it, but I would deny it...It is only now that I speak of the most "unmentionable" problem in our society...That being "purging"....Their polite way of speaking of "self vomiting"...

I only wish that the public and especially either sex teen-agers were told of the possible teeth rot that they will find in years to come...This comes from the stomach bile coming up and eating away at your gums...Remind them that people have choked on their own vomit when they did or do this...Tell them that it can cause heart murmurs and affect your health...Tell them that the more that they do it the more difficult it will be to bring it up...Tell them that despite thinking this is going to make them thin that in the end you will probably retain your own weight...You see this too, doesn't last...The body can learn to adjust to life, only the punishment will continue....

Again my congratulations...Keep up the good work....ILD....

 
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