Re: My struggle and double life. Vicious Cycle..
Hello, Stella! Let me just say you did the right thing when you told your mom.
Try meditation and soothing yoga instead of exercise. Listen to some calming music and just close your eyes every once in a while. It sounds like you're stressed as much as confused and wanting to get help. I know this sounds really weird, but if you just calm down and not even try to get a hold of the situation, but just slow down everything and breathe, you can confront the problem within yourself. Exercising may cause you to feel good about yourself, which is great, but I think what's happening in your situation is you're starting to reward yourself with food, and then you lose control. We all have that problem sometimes! I can't say what is causing you to binge and purge uncontrollably, or how to fix it (I myself have never had the problem, and I don't want to say anything dumb or wrong)...but what I can do is offer you my support and say that if you ever need any help, always talk about your feelings. Talking to a psychiatrist won't do harm, either. Therapy is good. Looks like you don't need medication - always a plus. And try that meditation!