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Old 11-14-2012, 03:41 PM   #1
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Angie4328 HB User
Husband has eating disorder

Hello everyone, I am new to this board. Last night my husband admitted to me that he has been vomiting after meals. I have suspected it for quit some time now, but it is not until last night that he had confirmed it. I haven't asked him many questions about it since I wasn't expecting him to tell me this, but have told him that I am very concerned and willing to help him through this. I am very scared because I fear that he has been doing this for many years now. I have told him that I am always going to be here for him and that I am willing to help him out in anyway or form. I am at loss for words since I am still shocked that my suspicion has been confirmed. How can I have him feel more comfortable talking to me about it without making him feel ashamed or judged? What do I say? For the first time in our marriage I am at loss for words.. I love him so much...

 
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Old 11-14-2012, 06:27 PM   #2
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aileb HB Useraileb HB Useraileb HB Useraileb HB User
Re: Husband has eating disorder

Hi,

I'm in recovery from anorexia and bulimia and I can remember how hard it was telling other people.

Maybe, suggest that he write you a letter? That way, he will have time to organize his thoughts. Or something that is not face to face like a phone call.

If he has bulimia, it's so hard to focus and be mentally "still" without doing something or saying something impulsive.


Do your research on the disorder. Full recovery can take anywhere from 5-10 YEARS. There will be relapses and minor setbacks.

People with eating disorders can also go from one eating disorder to another. For example, he can go from bulimia to anorexia or to binge eating disorder during recovery.

He is going to need a TEAM of professionals to help him recover: doctors, specialists, therapists etc.. There are people who never recover and get stuck in disordered eating patterns-that is not real recovery. He needs a team that specializes in eating disorders.

When you have an eating disorder, it is so hard to separate your thoughts from the eating disordered thoughts. He may not be able to give you the insight or answers. A lot of people will say the ed gives them a feeling of "control" helps them feel emotionally numb.

If he is not ready to talk to you about it, then encourage him to find outside support. I joined an online support group and then I entered treatment. You could help him find some online support groups until he decides what to do.

If you need any other suggestion, i'm always lurking these boards.

 
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Old 11-15-2012, 10:50 AM   #3
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Join Date: Nov 2012
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Angie4328 HB User
Re: Husband has eating disorder

Thanks for your response. I have been reading more into eating disorders and I am ready and willing to help my husband through this. You are absolutely correct in saying that the eating disorder can be a matter of feeling in control. My husband is always trying to appear that everything is in control and appears to be emotionally numb at times. Writing his feelings and thoughts in a letter is a great idea and will suggest this to him. Thank you for your suggestions and I wish you luck on your recovery.

 
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