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Old 12-09-2012, 10:05 AM   #1
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Angry Ralapses (?!) in bulimia recovery

Hello everybody!
I'm recovering from bulimia; last weeks I was well, I wasn't purging at all, and I was binging one time a week far away, my weight was ok (as far as my weight could be ''ok'' for me...)
But this week has been..a disaster. I binged about four times, and purged about two (not too much, but I was going so well, and now I'm so upset..)

I need to talk with someone who recovered from bulimia, someone who can tell me it's ''ok'' to relapse, and that everything is gonna be alright.

Tuesday I'll see my dietician, and I'm so afraid of the scale (I'm sure I got fatter)..

Right now I feel so guilty and hate so bad myself..I've just finished to eat kind of 2500 kcal..I won't purge, but I feel sick and really want to hurt myself.

thanks xx

ps..sorry for my bad english!

 
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Old 12-12-2012, 07:27 AM   #2
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Re: Ralapses (?!) in bulimia recovery

Hello fra1992 and welcome.

Take it from a recovering bulimic,it's not "ok" to relapse but it can be part of the process.

More often than not,while a person explores their feelings towards certain circumstances,the spiral ensues.As bulimia is a means of escaping the issue/s
at hand,it becomes a reliable albeit unhealthy means of coping.

Have you considered going to a therapist or seeing a prescribing physician?

Respectfully
Phoenix
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Old 12-15-2012, 07:57 AM   #3
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Re: Ralapses (?!) in bulimia recovery

Quote:
Originally Posted by fra1992 View Post
Hello everybody!
I'm recovering from bulimia; last weeks I was well, I wasn't purging at all, and I was binging one time a week far away, my weight was ok (as far as my weight could be ''ok'' for me...)
But this week has been..a disaster. I binged about four times, and purged about two (not too much, but I was going so well, and now I'm so upset..)

I need to talk with someone who recovered from bulimia, someone who can tell me it's ''ok'' to relapse, and that everything is gonna be alright.

Tuesday I'll see my dietician, and I'm so afraid of the scale (I'm sure I got fatter)..

Right now I feel so guilty and hate so bad myself..I've just finished to eat kind of 2500 kcal..I won't purge, but I feel sick and really want to hurt myself.

thanks xx

ps..sorry for my bad english!
Hi,

I have been one year and 15 days bulimia free. For an entire year, I saw a therapist every other week and he taught me coping strategies to use when I have a relapse.

Can you ask your D. to weigh you backwards? Does she now about your bulimia? Can you tell her that it is triggering to hear your weight and how it makes you feel?

hugs

 
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Old 05-29-2013, 01:28 PM   #4
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Re: Ralapses (?!) in bulimia recovery

I relapsed many times in my bulimia recovery and I have been free of it for years now. I think I can understand what you mean that you want to feel like your relapse is "okay." Maybe you want the assurance that this relapse doesn't prove you can't recover. You can still recover! I can assure you that even if you relapse and you think you blew it, you can still recover! When you recover, it is hard to explain, but there is no "special feeling" that you get that means you will never relapse again. Your last relapse will feel like every other relapse, it will just be the last one! There is no reason to live in guilt or worry about "failing." Guilt will just cause more pain.
For my recovery from bulimia, I eventually decided that purging was the key trap that kept me stuck. When I stopped purging, I still was bingeing, but I would not let myself purge. I had to stop weighing myself because I didn't want to be tempted to purge. I gained more weight than I needed to be healthy, but over time, as the bingeing decreased, I returned to a very healthy weight and I no longer binge (it has been 3 years). It isn't too late! Just keep getting back on track every time you fall. Eventually, you may see the time between slips grow longer and longer until you are well. Or maybe you will be like me and give up some behaviors, then more behaviors then more behaviors until you are well.

 
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