Hi Jackie,
You are a very special person to help your friend work through this. Many Kudos coming your way!!!
There are those on the board here who have been on Dilantin for years and had no issues and then there are those who feel it caused them more harm then good.
We fall into the last group. My son was placed on Dilantin at 10 mths and remained on it until 17 mths. I feel it was a huge issue for him from a developmental point. He also had gum over growth, abnormal body hair growth, and toward the end it started to affect his liver and blood cell counts. That was it for me... if it's causing that many side effects we can see and measure what in Gods name do they think it was doing to his head! And it wasn't stopping the seizures either.
As far as the Dr. Your friend should try and find a new one. A dr. should never tell a person on these drugs it's all in their head. Has he had a recent blood level test, those sound like toxic warnings to me... Forgetfullness is kind of a given with many of the drugs however because of the nature of seizures and how the drugs work to control them.
Yes, there are other drugs on the market that are a lot newer, with less side effects. But without knowing what seizure type your friend has I couldn't help you there.
Keep us posted and PLEASE have your friend get a level check!!!! It's very important!!!!!!!!
Love and light,
Lisa and kids